


Electric Indigo

by raisinghellonstarbug



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Clubbing, Eighties, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Law School, Literature, Love at First Sight, M/M, Mild Language, Music, New York City, Past Rape/Non-con, Retro, Sexual Tension, Sexy Times, World Travel, synthpop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:34:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 26,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27330559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raisinghellonstarbug/pseuds/raisinghellonstarbug
Summary: Castiel is a freelance writer living in Manhattan with his best friend Tracey. In his mid twenties and socially awkward, has high hopes and dreams to finish his first novel and travel the world. Introverted and uninterested in meeting people, he stays in most nights. One night however, Tracey insists that she must go out and drags him to their local eighties-esque nightclub. Incidentally he meets Sam like a gift from heaven, the most gorgeous man he has ever laid his eyes on. What is he going to do?Side story: Sam happens to also have an older brother named Dean who Tracey insists on toying with until she realises that he might be more important to her than any old fling that she's had before.*THIS STORY IS NOW BEING UPDATED SPORADICALLY. No set time I'm afraid as I have gotten busier with life in general.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Castiel (Supernatural) & Original Female Character(s), Castiel (Supernatural)/Original Male Character(s), Castiel/Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 37
Kudos: 19





	1. Disposition

**Author's Note:**

> So this was an idea that I concocted a few months ago, and I was going to write a shorter version for the Sastiel Big Bang 2020, but I knew it wasn't going to be ready and then I decided to make this a proper story.
> 
> The title of this story was an inspired name from The Paper Kites, one of their songs named Electric Indigo, and their music video for the song also was how I came up with the nightclub idea.
> 
> I really really hope you like it and I hope that Sam and Cas aren't too OOC in this story, like even for an AU story.

**Disposition** ****

It was a brisk Friday evening, the deep orange colours of the Autumn sun gently settling behind the tall apartment buildings across the street, the windows of the cosy apartment opened wide. The light breeze fluttered the papers on the wooden desk.  Although the apartment was quite rustic, it still looked like it was carefully nurtured, clean and tidy with the shelves and furniture complementing one another with warm tones. The sofa was especially comfy and inviting; with its bundle of pretty cushions laid out meticulously on top of the furniture piece in the centre of the living space.

The table in front of the sofa was stacked with books, magazines and other miscellaneous items as most houses were, but also lying on top was a freshly printed story draft. This stack of paper was written by the very person sitting at the desk, a young man, slim and of medium build with a distinguishably chiseled jaw, stubble and scruffy highlighted mousy hair. He scratched the top of his head and frowned, taking a sip of his coffee.

The papers stacked on the desk were also a copy of the same draft laid out on the glass table. The timid man known as Castiel often sat in front of his worn down laptop with a coffee cup next to him that was engraved with permanent caffeine stains.  Castiel was staring intently at words of his roughly written piece on the laptop screen, his face scrunched up, with remarkably blue eyes that were illuminated by the monitor. 

Not far away from where he was seated was Castiel’s best friend and roommate Tracey. With her carefree disposition, wearing thick-framed glasses, her long, wavy brunette hair dropping down to her back, she bobbed up and down to music listening through her headphones, whilst washing the dishes in their tight-knitted kitchen. She sang terribly to the words of the preppy music, but it had soon become white noise once Castiel got used to living with her.

The TV in the lounge was playing softly in the background, which Castiel every so often distracted himself with. It would often play a constant loop of daily news that Castiel only half-listened to. 

_ Damn, there’s freaking no use. _ He abruptly turned away from his laptop for the tenth time that day, sighing heavily and slightly pushing the table in annoyance. He took off his reading glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He had already been working on his novel for nearly a year. It was very dear to him, and he had to get it perfect. He was not someone who likes to give up easily.

Since he had begun writing this latest story, he had been frequently laying out his frustration and irritation at the laptop, for which he knew Tracey often found amusing, but also pitied him in the way that an annoying best friend would. He often recognised that she would watch him with sympathy on a daily basis chucking his freshly printed pages right out the window or into the trash. Luckily, Castiel didn’t feel urged to do so this time, but instead found himself rubbing his hands over his eyes struggling to keep them open and slightly shaking from caffeine withdrawal.

Castiel knew that Tracey was bound to come and tease him at this point, and as though she was on cue, he noticed from the corner of his eye that she took an earpiece out away from the blaring music and threw the dishcloth aimlessly next to the sink she was using to dry the plates. She walked across to him, mockingly pulling a pouty face that playfully mocked him. Castiel then looked up at Tracey and scorned back at her.

“Oh no, is my Cassie annoyed again?”

Castiel rolled his eyes and scoffed, “Yeah yeah, I’m pissed off and it’s entertainment for you, blah blah blah…”

He was grumpy, and he didn’t care if he looked pathetic at this point, when this novel he was writing meant everything to him.

“Of course it is! My best friend being a miserable bastard is exactly the fuel I need to get up in the morning,” Tracey stuck her tongue out at him, her obvious sarcasm expressed in her tone. It still didn’t make Castiel feel better though.

Castiel had known this woman for a long time, for a few years now even. Tracey was a beauty sure enough to look at, her porcelain skin even paler than Castiel’s, and while she sure had a personality and a body that most guys would definitely kill for, it was nothing but a friendship that they shared. 

They first met in their junior year at NYU during a fresher mixer, and instantly became close. With their antics of cinema nights, occasional parties that Tracey insisted on attending to help her meet guys and drinking hot cocoa at their favourite cafe, they became almost inseparable and after they graduated, they quickly figured that it would make sense for them to live together.

Castiel had originally come from Boston, but as the city gave him little enthusiasm, he insisted on staying in New York so that he could experience more of life. Truthfully, he wanted to go all over, not really imagining himself settling into the same place for too long. He had dreams of travelling the world, dreams that seemed really far away, but had hoped would change once he finally completed the novel.

He counted himself lucky though. When he turned twenty-one; he inherited a reasonable fund from his parents. If he hadn’t saved the income he made from part-time jobs while he was a student along with the inheritance, he definitely wouldn’t have been able to live in Manhattan. His life was pretty simple and easy in that regard.

Tracey originally lived on the outskirts of the city in Poughkeepsie. Her and her parents had an awkward relationship, this being one of the main reasons why she had to get out of her hometown after she graduated, of which Castiel had often been made aware of. She managed her share of the rent from her full-time job as an office manager which Cas knew she hated. He often noticed that she would always try to remain hopeful and plainly insisted that it wouldn’t be for much longer. _ Long _ didn’t have a timeframe though, and it definitely felt like time could stretch out for a little while longer.

Her own lifelong goal was to have her own business, particularly specialising in retro fashion. She adored eighties fashion, but really, she loved everything about the eighties. Her favourite music was synthpop and new wave, whilst her favourite movies consisted of the John Hughes collection, _ Heathers _ and  _ Back to The Future _ . This was what made Tracey stand out amongst others, and probably what made Castiel and her clutch to one another throughout college. They were both weirdos and both felt resonance with the other. Castiel knew he was not much like other people either, and they shared a few of the same interests. Castiel also loved eighties music and sometimes watched reruns of  _ Miami Vice _ , a guilty pleasure of his.

Whereas most young adults would often be out into the early hours of the morning on a Friday night, Castiel was usually busy writing his novel or just sitting on the sofa watching television. Perhaps he might even re-read his favourite books to help inspire him. Whatever it was, his activities usually involved staying inside. Outside was bad and an unusual place for someone like him. 

It probably had something to do with how he often felt awkward, shy and unsure of himself. He knew that he wasn't always awkward, but he certainly stumbled with words when he met new people, and he hadn’t had very good intimate relationships in the past. Although Tracey wasn’t the most sociable person in the world, she certainly knew how to flirt a lot better than he did, and would often try and encourage him to be more self-confident and friendly. Unfortunately for Tracey, Cas was not that bothered about socialising. 

But Tracey knew that she couldn’t let her best friend continue to wallow in their apartment like he had been for the last couple of months. She also insisted that the level of irony in Castiel’s disposition was hilarious, that he could have the ambition to travel the world, but yet completely freeze up when it came to meeting new people. She had previously questioned him about this numerous times.

Castiel’s response was that it wasn’t the people that he wanted to meet, it was the places he wanted to go. He often groaned about the people he did meet, how uninteresting and so stereotypical they were. Nobody caught his eye; and if they did, he would lose all sense of himself and end up boring them. Sometimes he reckoned he bored them deliberately so he wouldn’t have to try and get too personal with someone. Either that or he had already lost hope in finding a match for someone like himself. He was still unsure.

It was so simple when he met Tracey. They clicked so quickly and meshed well together. He had no way of knowing whether he could find someone to spend his life with as easy as he found Tracey. It’s not like Tracey was completely perfect, but she had decent enough qualities that made it adequate for him to live with her. It was difficult being gay when he couldn’t find a single guy that he related to.

_ Why can’t I just settle down and marry Tracey? _ Castiel sometimes thought.  _ Or rather, why can’t I find a man who is similar to Tracey _ ?  _ Or at the very least, was friendly, smart, interesting, funny, sexy even. _ Castiel shook the glooming thought aside once more.

Castiel often had Tracey explaining to him that she couldn’t always figure him out, why he persisted on making it so difficult for himself. She often said things like: “you know, if you weren’t so uptight, you could totally get any guy fall at your knees…” Castiel would wince when she said cringey things like that.

Castiel never wanted to talk about it, but he truthfully was looking for an equal of his kind. He wanted perfect, and if he couldn’t find that, then close enough at least. He sometimes wondered if he even knew what perfect meant. Cas and Tracey knew that it didn’t have anything to do with his sexuality, because he most likely would have the same problem if he was attracted to girls. Castiel was just not naturally good with people. He was a person who just had to find the one right guy for him and then everything could make more sense. Although, it might actually have more to do with figuring out who that right guy could be amongst a city full of potential suitors. 

But it wasn’t like Castiel was trying that hard. If he was more out and about enjoying the New York scenes and lifestyle, perhaps he would more likely find someone special. But Cas really liked the indoors, despite his dreams of travelling. More to the point, he was comfortable with his own company than perhaps was  _ normal _ . This wasn’t something that Castiel worried about that much.

Castiel recognised early on in the college days that socialising was not one of his strongest traits. Even though he and Tracey became close very quickly, Tracey told him later on that she happened to notice that when she first met him, he was not good with casual chat, and if it weren’t for studying the same major, he probably wouldn’t have opened up as easily as he did. 

She just happened to persuade him, like most men she met and flirted with, into talking to her. With her forceful but approachable personality, Cas hardly had a choice. He had other friends from college sure, but Tracey is the only one he has remained close to. She is like a leech he cannot get rid of. He is probably stuck with her forever. Castiel became okay with it after a little while.

One of Tracey’s attributes that did irritate Castiel was her laid back approach to everything. He also sometimes envied her sociable skills, even though he was unsure if he would use said skills even if he did have them.  _ Maybe he did need to get outside for a bit. _

Castiel did not know at this point though of course, that precisely the moment he was almost considering the idea of leaving the apartment, Tracey was concocting a plan to get him to go out for the night with her anyway.  Tracey ruffled her fingers through his hair, stroking his scalp like he was a puppy dog. Castiel felt her look down at him, his eyes closed humming to the feel of her hands. She then pinched his ear, pulling her hands away. Castiel grunted at her and scowled once more.

“Ugh, you’re such a mega bitch,” Castiel mumbled.

Tracey chuckled, continuing to ruffle his hair regardless. She tilted her head towards Cas, trying to eye out what he was feeling, almost sensing his deep thoughts in progress.

“What’s on your mind then?”

Castiel shrugged, looking down at his feet.

“Just thinking… you know, you and me. Our old college days and how unsociable I am.” 

Castiel looked up at his best friend. She shook her head, huffed and folded her arms. She turned away on her heel and then turned back to face him, her eyes strong with intent. She gave him a knowing look which made Castiel amongst wince, fully aware that she had plenty to say from just her expressions.

“Castiel…”

Castiel then frowned, squinting his eyes and sensing something further in her approach towards him.

“Hang on a minute. You only call me Castiel in special circumstances. What are you plotting?”

Tracey shrugged, arms still folded. A tiny smirk was beginning to form on her lips. Castiel knew her cunning side and probably wasn’t going to like what she had in mind.

“I was just thinking... maybe, if you want… we could, you know. Go out?”

Castiel snorted, looking away and slightly grimacing.

“Tracey, please. You know me.”

“Yes, unfortunately.. I do.”

“Hey, that pulls on my heartstrings...”

Tracey scoffed and shook her head once more.

“I think you need to get out. You just said it yourself that you’re not very sociable. I mean, how long have you been cooped up in here, in front of that godforsaken laptop?”

“But I need to get the novel perfect Trace…”

“ONE night. One night is all I ask.”

“Yes but-”

“No. No buts. I’m sick of it. We have had a long week and we deserve it. You know I’m not  _ that _ much of a partygoer, but come on. I need to get out and dance! Make some moves to  _ Depeche Mode _ ,  _ Duran Duran _ ,  _ Human League _ , and flirt with some gorgeous men..."

Castiel sighed, twitching his face and thinking hard. He didn’t know if he could go through with it. He wanted to go out, but he also didn’t want to be surrounded by strangers.

"Can I skip it tonight and I’ll consider going out another night?" Cas pleaded with his eyes. 

Tracey narrowed her eyes. Suddenly, he felt Tracey take his arms and she tried to pull him up from his desk chair. He deliberately went limp so that he would feel heavier to carry, having been in this situation with her before. After a few struggles, she managed to drag him out of the seat but onto the floor, where he dramatically laid his body across the floor.

He groaned, "let me wallow in peace my dear…"

Castiel heard Tracey huff, and he grinned slightly. Unfortunately for him, Tracey attempted once more to get him moving by going straight to his ticklish spot under his arms ,and he began to squirm. He tried to wriggle to the sofa, but failed when Tracey grabbed his foot and pulled him toward the hallway to their bedrooms. At his last attempt, he tried to grab the door to hold on to it. 

After a few moments of their squabbles, Cas got up from the floor dusting himself off, and began to play fight with Tracey. It was like a bitch fight between two cats. With the upperhand, she quickly grabbed him one more time. 

“No, Trace! Get the hell off of me!”

Ignoring him, she then pushed him into his bedroom and locked the door with him inside. Castiel then groaned heavily and banged the door.

“For god sake… come on babe, please let me out of here!”

Bellowing through the walls of the apartment, Tracey exclaimed, "Oh no, you are putting on your best clothes  _ babeee  _ and going dancing! And you’re not leaving that room until you put some eighties rags on!"

Banging the door angrily once more, gave into defeat and shook his fists. He then raised his head to the ceiling, rolling his eyes in the process and fell on to the centre of his bed, the impact of the mattress bouncing him up and down like a punching bag. His mind felt hazy, his eyes drooping almost closed. He wanted the bed to swallow him up or somehow he wished he could disappear. But he knew by then it was no use.

This Friday night was not going to be the usual Friday night. 

Once again, Tracey managed to persaude him with her stupid charm and had no way of getting out of this.

_ Could I not just be a butterfly and spread my wings to a far and distant place? _

_ What is a boy to do? _

“I hate you Tracey!” he shouted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was updated on 26th Dec 2020.


	2. Courage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel and Tracey arrive at the nightclub, despite Castiel's reluctance. While there, Castiel tries to enjoy himself but feels uncomfortable with how crowded the venue is. That's until he notices a handsome stranger from across the dancefloor...

**Courage**

Castiel was at a loss. His comfort levels were absolutely zero. He didn’t know how to keep his shoulders in place, his eyes darted to everything around him, all of it overwhelming his perception. His whole body felt out of place. If it were an empty space, he would be content, where the music and the lighting could still remain.

There he was, standing in the nightclub right around the corner from the apartment, one that he had been to before and the only one that he would tolerate. He bobbed his head a little to the song playing in the background, not a song that he initially recognised, but had a good beat nevertheless. Looking to the side of him, he noticed Tracey eyeing him and wiggling her eyebrows with a mischievous grin across her face, beginning to sway her body to the music.

“Oh Cas! We need to have fun tonight! Got it?”

Tracey insisted to him that they both got dressed up, specifically in retro eighties clothes of course. She was wearing a sequined off-the-shoulder baby pink dress up to her knees. Bows were in her hair, her hair done up crimped and frizzy, wearing sparkly makeup and bright pink lipstick to match. She had even replaced her spectacles with contacts.  _ She looked good like always,  _ he thought.

He wore one of his favourite outfits, a  _ Miami Vice _ style white suit with a pink top to match Tracey’s dress, along with loafers and neon sunglasses. He felt cool with his haired slicked back, but who knew whether he was just deluding himself. At least Tracey digged his look, having picked it out for him. She figured someone else was bound to. 

He hated to admit it, but he knew he had to get out on the occasion, just so that some of his sanity remained. Whether he liked it or not, nobody could stay cooped up inside all the time. But even though he liked the music and everyone around him looked good in neon colors and shadows, it was heavily crowded. Almost claustrophobic in fact. 

The corner of his eye caught Tracey once more, her figure heading to the centre of the dancefloor. That’s when he knew he wasn’t going anywhere. 

She turned round to ask him, “Are you gonna join me at some point tonight?”

He gave her a shrug and shouted a “maybe” as a response. He would have joined her if he wouldn’t look so foolish. Perhaps he would dance later on.

But for now, Castiel continued to walk across the venue, carefully avoiding the rows of people who were chatting, laughing and spilling their drinks. He knew he didn’t feel right being here, but simultaneously didn’t want to leave. He was very conflicted.

Just in that exact moment of apprehension though, a sudden figure appeared, his eyes catching someone in the distance that instantly drew his attention.

Castiel froze in place, his mouth ajar and his pulse quickening more than he ever thought it could.

Through the crowds of people there was a beauty like no other. A man, an astonishing, breathtaking, gorgeous hunk of a man. His looks were overwhelmingly bewildering and surprising Cas so much that he momentarily forgot to breathe, only realising he caught it in his throat by coughing before he would have inevitably choked. 

A random person then briefly asked him if he was okay while strange looks were continued in his direction, but Castiel didn’t notice. He stopped coughing eventually, clearing his throat. He hadn’t realised how much his throat closed up nor that his eyes had diverted. He meekly smiled and nodded at the people around him.

He then began practically pushing other groups in the crowd out of the way to get a closer gaze at this beautiful man who could not leave his sight again under any circumstances.

As he moved closer standing only a few feet away he managed to clock the guy’s attention. Castiel lacked subtlety but failed to care. He wanted this guy to notice him. 

_ Did he want me to come over? Did I just see a smirk on his face? What the hell am I doing? _

He abruptly stopped again, becoming aware of himself and knowing he did not really have the guts to do this. He had never feared rejection this much before. The few men he had tried to flirt with in the past were nothing compared to this greek god, perfectly sculptured and completely out of his league.

Cas decided that maybe ducking down from the man’s viewpoint would retract from his near disastrous actions, moving away from the gorgeous specimen and trying to forget that he even existed. 

_ There was no way that anything was going to happen.  _

As Cas hid his face away, he then remembered that he was wearing sunglasses, so maybe the stranger had not noticed him. Maybe the guy had been looking at someone else. Just in case, he still reverted away from the man and decided to go to the bar. 

As he tried to keep his composure and pushed towards the bar, a thin layer of sweat began to form on his forehead. He wiped it away and shook himself off, shaking his head in hope that this would help him forget the guy.

_ Pfft, like that is going to work you idiot. _

When he got to the bar he luckily had a chance to ask the bartender for a drink and found an empty stool. He didn’t drink often, but when he did he would usually go for cocktails or a whiskey and coke. He got the dude’s attention from behind the bar and whispered in his ear to get him a mojito. The bartender nodded.

Tracey then reappeared by gracing him with her presence. She was shimmying her way to him with her sparkly earrings also jiggling to the music. She clocked him and with her great big smile, wrapped her arms widely around his sheepish body. 

"Oh, Castiel! It's on fire tonight!" 

Castiel chuckled, giving Tracey a polite smile, “Well thank god you can have fun for me…” He took a sip from the straw of his drink that had arrived by his side.

She returned her own expression, a look of slight sympathy. 

"Oh babe… loosen up, will ya? I know you could have a great time if you got out there."

Castiel shrugged his shoulders. He wasn't much of a dancer, even though Tracey kept telling him that it didn't matter. It's not like she was that much better. She just loved swaying to the music and didn't give a shit what anyone thought. Castiel reckoned that was one of the many traits about her that made her so lovable and every man's fantasy. 

"Look Trace, I wanna have a good time, but-" 

"But, what? Are you getting all insecure on me again?" 

Castiel meekly nodded, lowering his head momentarily at the floor. He felt Tracy's hand playfully slap his shoulder, and he looked up to find Tracey's stern expression, her face cutely scrunched up and her finger pointing at him.

"You're amazing, Castiel. You are a handsome man who any man would be lucky to have..."

And as Castiel was about to respond, wanting to talking about the handsome man that he was too scared to talk to-

"I could vouch for that…" 

Tracey's eyes then widened, surprised by a sudden voice that gently bellowed from behind them. She turned around abruptly as Cas also flickered his eyes to the culprit of the voice. 

And as though it were a dream, he appeared. The man from before. The greek god. 

_It was_ _him_? _He was the culprit?_ _Did he notice me staring? Was he coming to talk to me? And holy crap he's even more stunning up close!_

Tracey's confused expression turned into a wide flirtatious grin. Castiel's face turned white. He had no idea how to react. He was completely gobsmacked. 

"And  _ where _ have you come from?" Tracey questioned. She lifted her arm and placed it on her hip.

The stranger lowered his head slightly and chuckled, flicking his hair back as he looked back up directly into Cas' gleaming eyes with a fatally gorgeous grin upon his lips. Castiel was still struggling to conjure up any words. 

"Like I said, I can vouch for that."

Those eyes that stared right at Castiel felt like a piercing to his soul. So mesmerising and filled with mixtures of green, gold and brown, he was unable to look away. The hazel texture was so easy to get lost into. 

"And, how would you know that, pretty boy? Come a little closer so I can get a good look at you..." Tracey gestured with her fingers to him. Cas gave Tracey a look and shook his head, begging with his eyes for her to stop this.

The tall man with chestnut wavy locks slowly edged closer to Cas' position at the bar, Tracey’s eyes widening when she realised that not only was he handsome, but also a very tall individual. She began to look up at him, realising how short she was. Castiel gulped, not at all prepared for what might end up happening.

The stranger shrugged his shoulders with his eyes still fixated on Castiel. He then spoke with a voice so much like silk, flashed another cheeky grin and uttered, "I just have this gut instinct. Perhaps it is something about his gaze, perhaps his mystique. I couldn't help but wonder these things when I noticed him looking in my direction only five minutes ago…" 

Tracey giggled under her breath, trying to hide a grin at the response. She looked at her best friend with an eyebrow raised.

“Well Cas, go on… speak to the guy!”

Castiel had no choice it seemed. The jig was up. Surely this guy only wanted to ridicule him. It wasn't about actually being interested in him like that. Cas wouldn't be surprised if this guy wasn't even that way inclined. 

_ But then, why come all the way over here just to make fun of me?  _

Maybe this guy was having a dull night. Perhaps he needed to mock someone for his own pleasure. Castiel had to come up with some form of quip to show he wasn't intimidated, or at the very least not completely turned on. 

"Why would I stare at someone like you, huh? Pretty boy? Pfft Tracey, come on. Giving him too much credit no?" Castiel then snorted, pretending to fane interest. But he couldn't look at the man directly in the eye when he said it. 

Tracey shook her head and rolled her eyes, holding a smirk on her face. She whispered into Castiel’s ear, “come on doll have a little fun...” Cas scowled at Tracey and shook his head. He whispered in her ear, “what are you playing at? I can’t talk to this guy! He’s totally out of my league Trace…” 

“You’ll be _ fine _ . Trust me, he’s interested…” she then walked away in a coy fashion, the smirk still on her lips. Cas' eyes widened then, trying to get her in hushed tones to come back to him. Of course, it failed.  _ If he is interested in me, then I am screwed... _

The stranger was still standing where he had been, Cas finding his stare still fixated on him when he turned around. Cas jolted slightly out of surprise.

"So. Are you going to try and play hard to get all night or can we skip the bull?" 

It was so blunt and so forward that Cas lacked a complete response. He wasn't expecting those words at all. He began to stutter and lose face. 

The stranger continued, coming up to his face even closer, "because if you are, then at least let me know how many drinks I need to buy you first before I get lucky…" he winked, his voice only silkier and deeper than before. Cas trembled, closing his eyes and trying to stifle a moan. 

_ Was this guy really serious? _

He couldn't understand what was happening. At first he thought this was just some kind of joke at his expense, but now he was beginning to wonder if this guy was flirting with him. He turned his head slightly, looking up at him and frowning. 

"What do you want from me?" 

The guy chuckled again, this time indicating a level of mockery. He shook his head. 

Laying it on thick with the sarcasm, he retorted, "Is it not obvious? I'm a huge Miami Vice fan…" 

Castiel then managed to smirk, nodding his head and beginning to realise that perhaps this might be OK. Maybe this conversation would involve only lighthearted banter that Cas knew he could probably manage.

"Hey now, the first couple of seasons are good!" Castiel smiled.

Cas had never met a man who was so sure of himself, so laid-back but not arrogant. He did not know what to expect anymore. He certainly hadn’t expected the guy to grab his sunglasses off of him, the lighting of the club piercing his eyesight. He then blinked profusely from the light, momentarily looking away while hearing a faint apology from the man. But when Cas looked back up it was the other man's turn to be mesmerised. This only baffled him as he wondered why he was looking at him like that. 

The guy then shied away slightly and shook his head. "Sorry, it's just… I wanted to see your eyes underneath the sunglasses. I had a bet with myself that they would blow me away. I guess I was on the money…”

Cas bit his lip while blushing and smiled and replied, “Thank you. That’s nice of you to say. I think the same about yours…”

"Look, I'm just going to cut to the chase. I think you're gorgeous, and I knew I had to come over and say something. I'm not good at this, like at all… But I really like you already." 

Castiel was shocked, especially as not only was this stunning man talking to him, but he thought that he was  _ gorgeous  _ and  _ really liked him?  _ It was too much for him to take.

"Sure seems like you’re good at this to me! Better than me anyhow…”

“No, I’m just using cheesy pick up lines that I got from my brother, but what I say is true! You… I just, I think I would have beaten myself up if I hadn’t plucked up the courage to come and speak to you…”

“Wow. I had no idea. I thought you were just coming over to make fun of me’, Sam shook his head to indicate that was not the case at all.

‘I didn't mean to stare at you like I did, but you. I mean, you think I'm gorgeous? Really? Coming from you?" 

"Ha-ha, and I thought you didn't like my looks!" 

"Oh no, I-I… was trying to play it cool. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone as handsome as you before."

Sam flashed a huge, and amazingly breathtaking smile in his direction, never letting go of his intense gaze on him. It made Cas slightly shudder and tingle all over his body. 

_ Was he really making me this flustered? Goddamnit... _

"What's your name?"

"Castiel." 

"Castiel? Wow, what a name! A gorgeous name. Should have known. I’m Sam."

“Sam. Nice to meet you," Cas took out his hand for Sam to shake. He was so pleased he now had a name for the greek god. Sam looked down at the hand and snorted. He then took it in his hand and brought it up to his lips, gently grazing it.

Castiel just stared at Sam’s gesture, unsure of how to react. He was definitely out of his depth and wasn’t sure what to do next.

“Um, am I dreaming?” Castiel stifled with a squeaky voice.

“I’m just kissing your hand. Why, is that not allowed?” Sam winked at him.

Castiel trembled internally. He looked down at his hands, he looked at his surroundings and began to fret. He saw the exit clear in his eye level. He was struggling to think. He didn’t know what to do.

He started nervously laughing, wishing the floor would swallow him up, getting about ready to flee when Tracey returned with a man following her close behind. Castiel frowned, not recognising the guy and hoping that he wasn’t some creep. Tracey had a massive smirk on her face and Cas knew he was in trouble.

“What? What is it?” Castiel groaned. Sam laughed at his reaction.

“Having fun, are we? I bet you two are totally hitting it off…” Sam grinned while Cas rolled his eyes, simultaneously prepared to run but also not wanting to leave the gorgeous man behind. _ Shit, it was getting far too hot in here. _

Sam gestured to Tracey, “Are you two really close friends then?”

“Damn straight! We’re best buddies,” Tracey wrapped her arm around Cas and placed her head on his shoulder. Sam chuckled, “nice to meet you. What do I call you?”

“Tracey. And you are, hot stud?”

“Sam. Just Sam.”

“Well Sam, you have got my best friend’s panties in a twist. Kudos to you.”

“And I haven’t even got him a drink yet…” Sam was staring at him again and Cas gulped. It made him feel like a putty in his hand. 

Just as it looked like Sam was leaning in towards him despite his nervous disposition, Sam was then interrupted and jolted out of shock. The guy that was following Tracey had come behind Sam and noogied him. Sam winced and pushed him away, giving him a harsh look. Tracey’s eyebrows raised.

“Do you two know each other?”

Sam’s expression while momentarily serious, nodded, “Unfortunately yes, he’s my big brother. This is Dean.”

Castiel was then surprised and smiled at Dean. He quickly clocked Cas’ attention and shook Cas’ hand, smiling wickedly.

“Good to meet you dude!”

He then noticed at the corner of his eye Dean wiggling his eyebrows at Sam, of which Sam glared at him. Castiel titled his head out of confusion.

Tracey gasped, “Oh my god! Well, we have two handsome brothers for the both of us, eh Cas?”

Castiel then cringed heavily, whispering to Tracey to shut the hell up. Tracey winked at him and turned back to Dean. She grabbed hold of his shirt, playing with it and giving him her most seductive look. Cas had seen her flirting techniques many times before. No doubt she was going to have him wrapped around her little finger. Dean bit his lip and grinned, Castiel blinking hard. 

“So, are you going to buy me a drink or what?”

Dean scoffed, “Baby, you are something…” and put his hand around her waist. Tracey then playfully pushed it away and they walked away together.

Castiel tilted his head and frowned, contemplating what he was going to do next when he had never been this lucky before. Maybe he would be putting his hand on Sam’s waist also, if he had enough prowess to do so.

“So, what should I know about you before I get too involved?” Sam teased, his voice and his grin making Cas melt once more and taking him away from his thoughts.

_ Shit. What am I gonna do now? _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was updated 25/01/21


	3. Honesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel wonders if he can go through with this ordeal of flirting and giving into his sudden feelings towards the greek god. Sam attempts to help Cas relax and have fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies this was a day overdue! I am trying to stick to the every Sunday rule but this time I momentarily got busy this weekend and needed time to recover. I hope you enjoy the new chapter!

**Honesty**

He was petrified. Petrified of anything that he might say that could have been seen as idiotic by Sam. Castiel’s consistency in confidence and social skills were almost nonexistent, moments of courage occasionally appearing in his composure, only then until he realised who he was again. He didn’t know how to relax properly in Sam’s company with his incredibly attractive looks and personality completely bewildering him. 

“What would you like to know?” Cas managed to stifle from his lips, wondering if his eyes or facial expression might be so tellingly obvious to what he was thinking. 

In that moment, the background music on the speakers then got louder, one of  _ Daryl Hall & John Oates’ _ tracks. Castiel liked this one,  _ Out of Touch _ he recalled was the name of it. As the song continued, Sam momentarily thought about what to ask, and then with a flicker of his cute smile reappearing he asked, increasing the volume of his voice, “What are your hopes and dreams?”

Cas exclaimed, “Oh yes, the ultimate question. To be a best-selling author!”

Sam bellowed, “Huh! I figured you as the creative type.” 

Cas shrugged his shoulders, “what can I say? Writing speaks to me.” He then gestured for Sam to answer the same question.

“Well I guess I wanna be a lawyer.”

“Ahh that’s why you’re so persuasive with all your moves and questions...”

“Yep, guilty for that… and guilty for finding you cute,” Sam bit his lip, his voice all velvety while giving Cas the most irresistibly charming smolder imaginable. Cas rolled his eyes and scoffed.

“Ok see now this is exactly why I don’t get how you cannot be bullshitting me.”

“Wow, and even when he cusses it’s incredibly adorable and sexy...”

Castiel scoffed even harder and pushed his hand up as a gesture to stop, grimacing and shaking his head, having to look away from Sam’s gaze before he got lost in it again. Sam, narrowed his eyes and pressed his hand firmly on Cas’ face, glaring intensely and uttered soft words with such intent: “you  _ are _ gorgeous to me Castiel. Got it?” This shocked Castiel into silence, not being able to look away anymore from that harsh gaze of unworldly irises, a flash of an apple green in their colour. Castiel was pleased he still remained seated on the stool.

Sam had that look on his face again that Cas remembered earlier, a face that he knew indicated Sam wanted to kiss him, but he chickened out and abruptly stood up from the bar stool, nervously chuckling and trying to draw attention away from the moment. 

He then noticed the greek god’s eyes falter, which made Castiel realise he may have hurt Sam’s feelings. But this was too perplexing for him and he had to figure out a way to explain to this guy why he was so afraid of letting himself get engulfed in what would probably be such an enticing kiss.

A momentary distraction came over the speakers, a song that Cas absolutely adored, of which he attempted to try and overwrite with his own words. 

_ (Tongue-tied or short of breath, don't even try)  _

“Look Sam, I am sorry'.

_ (Try a little harder _

_ Something's wrong, you're not naive,)  _

'I am not confident, I don’t feel gorgeous and I am not good with relationships, like  _ at all'  _ .

_ (you must must be strong _

_ Ooh, baby, try)  _

'I just, I can’t pretend to have the guts to go through with this.”

“Hey, no it’s ok Cas. I’m sorry for being so forward. Damn, I should have been more respectful-”

Castiel then shook his head profusely, reaching up to put his finger on Sam’s lips.   
  


“No. Don’t finish that sentence. You are perfectly fine. I’m the doofus here,” Castiel exhaled and briefly lost himself in Sam’s orbs once more.  _ Damn, how can I resist him any longer? _

_ ('Cause you're too shy shy, hush-hush, eye to eye… ) _

“Hang on a minute. You called me Cas…” he whispered. Sam frowned, lightly chuckling. Castiel then realised that he had said those words out loud.

“Sorry. Just got used to only Tracey calling me that nickname for so long… I have no one else in my life that I am so close to. I would marry her if I wasn’t attracted to men.” Castiel scratched his hair, still gelled back but no longer as rigid. 

Sam nodded, “I get it! I have a friend like that. Maybe not as close, but definitely feels a lot easier to be closer to women.”

  
“Thank you, god I thought I was the only one who had the same problem!”

“I guess we’re both not good with relationships, huh?”

Castiel nodded gently, afraid of saying anymore than he already has. He really would rather not look like a total loser in front of this amazing guy.

“I’m not all that good with people in general to tell you the truth…”  _ Shit, why did I blurt that out? _

“It’s brave to admit that. None of us are  _ that _ good with people, I mean we can’t expect everyone to like us.”

Castiel looked up to the ceiling sighing, almost groaning, "Yeah, but I'm a whole new level of freak Sam. I’m just not cool, ok?"

Castiel's blue eyes were even noticed in the shadows, startling Sam once more. They were  _ deep _ blue, enough to fall in and lose yourself in like the deep ocean. Neither of them were looking for whatever this was. It was possible that this might be more than just attraction. Perhaps it was meant to be.

Whether Cas liked it or not, it was becoming more difficult for him to hide his strong feelings for Sam, possibly stronger than he had ever felt before about anyone. These emotions were only puzzling Cas as they were so unusual. He wasn't quite prepared to admit any of this to himself yet let alone towards Sam. Castiel almost wished he wasn’t battling these feelings right now so that he could still play it cool. He felt like such a dork.

Sam then grabbed his hand, squeezed it tightly as a gesture of reassurance, to help Cas recognise that he's not alone. The tall man then whispered in his ear, "I think that you and I can be freaks together…"

Castiel bit his lip and tried to hide the grin crawling across his face. This made Cas ecstatic and mystified, wondering how someone as gorgeous as him could potentially reciprocate his feelings and also be just as weird as he was. The thought of  _ where the hell had this man come from _ resurfaced and he had no choice but to be grateful that he hadn’t walked away or been creeped out by Cas’ awkward behaviour.

Sam then waved to the bartender to grab a couple of Alabama Slammers, which Castiel was slightly apprehensive about. 

“Oh I don’t know about those Sam… I’m not a heavy drinker,”

“Aww come on, you can have one surely? It might help you loosen up a little… I bet you’re a big flirt when you’re drunk!”

“Haha! Sorry to disappoint but I am just awkward like normal! Awkward Castiel Novak…”

“Maybe, but cute too…”

Sam tossed his hair away from his face, winked at him once more and grabbed the shots from the bar counter, putting one in front of Cas, who grimaced slightly at the smell of the booze. Sam chuckled and nodded at him to take it. Castiel then sighed, rolling his eyes like he always did and grabbed the shot from Sam’s grasp. Castiel then downed it quickly before Sam even drank his. Sam then scoffed, his eyes widening and took down his own. 

_ How the hell did he manage to convince me to do that? Damn his stupid charm... _

“You’re full of surprises Castiel…”

After downing their shots, Sam then gestured with his eyebrows and with a tilt of his head to follow him. Castiel frowned and Sam loudly mouthed "let's dance". Cas then stopped in his tracks and shook his head avidly, refusing with adamant firmness that dancing was out of the question. Sam asked why and Cas tried to explain that he was a terrible dancer. 

Sam rolled his eyes and pulled Cas' arm with him and dragged him to the centre of the dancefloor, beginning to wiggle his hips to the classic  _ Wham _ 's track  _ I'm Your Man _ , which Castiel couldn't believe how uncanny it was out of all the tracks to play in that moment. It felt like every song that was playing that night was weirdly connected to his experience with Sam, and without it meaning to be, the experience felt close enough to being a date. 

Castiel really hoped that he  _ wasn't _ just falling for a guy that he would only spend time with on this one night and then never see again. He was begging in his thoughts that this guy would work out, this would be the one that he doesn't screw up, where he doesn't scare them off or doesn't let them disappear out of his life.

Castiel figured he had to be open, not be so afraid, and just accept that he was going to dance with a beautiful man. He should be grateful for this moment.  _ Oh believe me, I am truly grateful... _

Castiel's attention came back to the dancefloor, the flooded colours flashing and forming spotlights that scattered across the walls. The atmosphere was almost hazy, steamy and electric. He now felt the effect of the booze slowly burning down his throat and into his esophagus, his awareness kind of drifting, the feeling almost dreamlike. 

He was definitely becoming more tispy since he arrived at the club, and he felt his face begin to flush when he caught Sam's eye once more. He was getting very hot under his collar, emotions running riot in his mind, feeling confused but equally giddy, like a teenage girl who had a crush on the popular boy at school. 

He was frustrated, almost annoyed that this gorgeous man had to come into his life and ruin every other man for him. He wanted distraction sure, but not this. He didn’t know what he wanted. He certainly wasn’t looking for Sam. He never expected to feel like this, blood rushing through his whole body. 

His mind began to run filthy, imagining all things that he hadn’t really imagined before in such vivid detail. The idea of Sam on his bed, on top of him and-  _ ugh no. I can’t imagine such obscene things! I hope my face isn’t too easy to read, damnit... _

Trying not to appear too obvious that he was flustered, he then began to sway gently to the music. He watched Sam pull cheesy moves to the funky beats of the song and it made Cas smile brightly. Somehow he even made these corny moves look so hot. Castiel was grateful though that the lighting would probably hide away the flushness of his face. Castiel tried to get the dirty thoughts out of his head and just focus on the music.

Cas began to dance more comfortably, remembering silly moves that he recalled from eighties pop music videos, strutting and jiving away like he was having the time of his life. As he did so, Sam noticed Cas beginning to let loose and grinned widely at him, catching his eye and winked. 

Cas then winked back, actually managing to flirt with ease, continuing to dance amongst the crowds of people. He then momentarily turned his head to see Tracey dancing with Dean. She looked very much in her element and appeared to be having a great time. She was also laughing her big laugh and turning on the Tracey charm. However, Cas did wonder if maybe with the unusual look in her eye, whether this could be different. He sort of hoped it was, just to see whether Tracey could have a meaningful relationship with someone.

Sam then resurfaced into his focus, his tall exterior hovering around him and continuing to jig to the enjoyable music. Cas then began to feel himself edge closer to the pretty boy jiggling before him, his hips dangerously close to Sam's. He then felt Sam's hands grab his again and he helped Cas sway more casually, encouraging him to loosen his hips more. Castiel was gradually becoming in sync with Sam’s dance moves, his body only centimeters away from Sam’s.  _ Crap. Please don’t get hard, please don’t get hard… _

But as Cas watched Sam, beads of sweat forming on his forehead, his beautiful brown locks gently bouncing, rosy red cheeks, his irresistibly pink lips… he noticed there was this sultry look in his eyes, and he could sense something unfamiliar. Suddenly, Sam's hands wrapped around Castiel's waist, which made Cas gasp and only spurred Sam further, Cas astonished by these actions but also not wanting to stop them. It then became apparent that Sam was near enough grinding against him, a hint of a tight crotch pressed upon Cas, this becoming too much for him to handle.  __

Sam was lost in the atmosphere, his eyes tightly closed and humming. This only made Cas frightened, his eyes widening and darting to the back of him.

_Is this really happening?_ _Am I making Sam feel this way? Is he turned on right now? Holy hell I can't process this…_

It had become clear that Castiel was out of his depth, having not got this close to a man in this capacity, and before Cas knew it, he had slipped away from the clasp of Sam's embrace. Suddenly he was bolting for the door to the outside, dashing away from the perfect moment like a moron. He was too afraid to go through with something that could end up going horribly wrong. This way he left now and it wouldn’t turn horrible. 

He was utterly embarrassed and couldn’t go ahead with what had just happened knowing that this guy would probably break his heart somehow. It was too damn good to be true. He hoped he didn’t upset Sam, but at the same time he couldn’t turn back around to look behind him in case Sam actually didn’t care after all and had already moved on to the next person to flirt with them instead. He couldn’t know for sure that Sam wasn’t just sexually attracted to him, and Cas certainly wasn’t the type to just have sex with someone he had only just met. If this was ever going to work between them, Sam had to have genuine feelings involved for Cas to even consider this potential relationship between them.

But in that moment of time, he was backing out before he would get hurt. Cas was comfortable not having to take the risk, despite how lovesick he felt. He could move on.

Well, that’s what Castiel was trying to tell himself.

Leaving Sam’s sights and hoping that he hadn’t even noticed he was gone yet, had reached the back exit pretty swiftly, managing to get lost in the crowd and push his way through so that Sam couldn’t find him. Getting out of the door like a bat out of hell, he was now outside of the familiar New York streets, the loud music in the club fading away and the sounds of taxicabs, traffic lights, and police sirens coming into focus.

_ This was good _ , he thought.  _ I’m better off not getting my heart broken over some athletic dude who would probably never be anything more than a fling anyway. _

Castiel took in the atmosphere around him and frowned. His heart sunk. He felt weird being outside, the warmth completely escaping his body.

Feeling reluctant about his choice, he turned back round to the door, contemplating reentering. After all, he could just go back in easily unlike the main entrance. 

Who's to say he couldn’t have a cheeky smoke before he walked home?

_ Oh shit. I cannot leave Tracey on her own. _

Castiel then calmly relented from his dramatic exit, realising he couldn’t take off that easily after all. Perhaps he was going to have to try and continue pretending to be easygoing and just fend off Sam’s questions when he would come to find him, if he even did. He would just simply explain he needed some “fresh air” as the club was getting “too hot”. Maybe Sam would believe him.

He then took a few steps to lean against the brick wall of the outside building and proceeded to grab his backup sneaky stash of cigarettes from his jacket pocket, (a stash he had no intention of Tracey finding out about) and lit the cancer stick.


	4. Blunder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Cas has panicked in a rush out of the door, Sam desperately tries to see where he has gone in the hopes that he hasn't already blown his chances in forming something between the two of them. While Sam has explaining to do to Tracey, Castiel recalls memories about his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies that it took nearly a week for me to update this! I'm going to try and catch up and hopefully post on time in future. I hope you like this chapter and the slight turn of character development there is added to this. Also this chapter is mostly in Sam's POV which won't be as often as Cas' just fyi!
> 
> Please comment and leave kudos if you like the story as I would really appreciate it. Can't always know how many people are enjoying the story otherwise!

Wham’s song  _ I’m Your Man _ was coincidentally playing in the background, an astutely apt song that easily illustrated through its words how ecstatic Sam was to have met such an amazing man like Castiel. Dancing gleefully and like a complete fool, was choosing to ignore the rest of reality as he got more intimate with the dreamy blue eyed man. He didn’t think he could get any luckier, feeling like he was cloud nine, the whole experience like a wickedly sensual kaleidoscopic dream.

He closed his eyes, rolling his hips along with Castiel’s, not giving a shit where he was or if anyone would judge them. He felt hot and heavy, sexual tension causing Sam’s face to sizzle, the feeling like he was on fire. He was almost breathless, his feelings making it dangerous for him to get carried away in the moment. His attraction to Cas was intense and almost painful. Sam gulped, knowing that he couldn’t do much about the tension in his trousers. He did hope that this wouldn’t make Cas uncomfortable and that he would understand. He also hoped Cas was at ease with himself. He didn’t care what others thought of his sexuality, so neither should Cas. 

In all honesty, Sam could only really focus on how amazing it felt to be this close to Cas, being this intimate to someone was miraculous after spending the last couple of years with lousy men who never called him back. Or maybe it was that he didn’t call them back. Either way, he was so glad that he hadn’t, now that he had met this beautiful guy. 

The trouble was that Sam knew he could get too attached too quickly, he knew that he could overwhelm his partners, as he generally laid his heart on his sleeve everytime he was in a relationship. He also knew that he could get very picky and dump a guy quicker than a bag of garbage, but he had a good feeling about this one. He wanted to keep this one around and see where it might lead. But he also wondered whether he could be coming across too strong, whether Cas felt the same way that he felt. He really hoped he wasn’t jumping the gun too quickly.

But then, just like a sharp bee sting to his insecurities, he sensed something was wrong. The heat of Cas’ body against him had suddenly vanished, a huge momentum of cold air replacing that warm feeling that lingered only moments ago. A sinking feeling washed over Sam, and as he opened his eyes, he remembered that this amazing feeling wasn’t going to last forever, the chilling reality settling in on him so bitter and disappointing. He should have known.

Heavily perplexed by what had just happened, Sam stood there in utter disbelief, the disappointment really beginning to surface. One moment he was dancing with an unbelievably cute and adorable guy, which felt like it was going especially well and was really starting to feel a real connection, when the next thing he knew with his eyes turned back just for a moment, Castiel had disappeared without a trace. 

_ Was he not really interested in me after all?  _ Sam was afraid that Cas had probably disappeared because of something he did; just like in past experiences. Whether it was coming on too strong, not investing in the relationship enough, or investing into it too much, there was always something and this might have been no different.

His brows furrowed, biting his lip out of worry. He tilted his head up to look above the crowd and see if he could find Cas’ figure amongst the heavy crowds. But sadly no luck. He then pushed through the people, darting his eyes around the whole of the club. As his optimism was gradually beginning to fade, he became more desperate and frantically tried to see if a white suit, dirty brown-blonde hair and blue eyes would suddenly reappear. Perhaps he was at the bar getting them drinks, and Sam was fretting over nothing.

But the longer he kept looking around, the more difficult it was to persevere, especially as the neon lights weren’t in his favour with being able to identify anybody. For a moment he thought he might have seen Cas darting away to the exit of the building, and as he practically shouted the near stranger’s name, nobody responded or looked back around. Sam’s heart was now sunk to the pit of his stomach and he almost felt like screaming. Castiel wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

_ Did he really just leave? Was I really that bad? _

Sam’s shoulders began to slump and he looked down at the floor, holding his fists and throwing one in the air out of frustration.  _ Damn it, I screwed it up again. And on the best one too. Why is it too much to ask to have a meaningful relationship? _

But then, luckily fate intervened and perhaps gave Sam an indication that it was not all over just yet. He saw a glimpse of Castiel’s friend Tracey, the sassy and beautiful woman who had eyed him up earlier that night. He could see why Cas had such a hard time finding a guy who could be as good as his best friend, especially with a personality and looks like that. She had certainly done a good job in bending his brother to her will. It was impressive she could do that as he had never seen Dean behave like this.

As Sam quickened his pace toward Dean and Tracey, she then noticed him and waved at him to come and join them. Hopefully Tracey would help him and not hate him for making Cas run away, or better yet maybe she would have a perfect explanation and Castiel was in the bathroom or something. Sam was trying to hold on to a little belief that he wasn’t completely out of luck.

When Sam finally reached them on the other end of the dancefloor past all the crowds, it was somewhat apparent that the two of them had incidentally been in a very intimate position. But quicker than Sam could actually properly register what was happening and get embarrassed, Tracey had pushed Dean off of him. Dean then shook his head, frowning and about to open his mouth to respond to Tracey’s blunt action, when he noticed his baby brother and abruptly looked up at him like a deer caught in headlights. 

He abruptly switched his composure, awkwardly standing and keeping his hands away from Tracey. Sam chuckled and shook his head, knowing that Dean was not as usually this respectful. But maybe he was trying to impress Tracey especially. Dean’s eyes were crinkled with enthusiasm, a massive 100 watt smile planted across his face.

“Oh, hey Sammy! Are you having a good time?”

Tracey then put her arm around Dean, grabbing him close. Dean was surprised by this, his face flushed red like a ripe tomato. Sam couldn’t help but smile mockingly at his reaction, giving his older brother one of their knowing looks to one another. Dean glared at him as though to shut up.

“Mmm hey tall stud, why are you over here? Did Cas creep you out? Trust me, he’s worth waiting out for...” Tracey slurred her words. It was evident she was a little tipsy. Sam bit his lip nervously, his heart began to race in fear of what Tracey might do to him when she was going to inevitably find out that the stranger Cas met had freaked him out and tried it on without Cas feeling comfortable. He then took a deep breath and began to explain.

“No, no in fact… look, I’m really sorry Tracey. I- I think I creeped him out. He’s gone and I can’t find him. I don’t know if I upset him, but please understand I never meant to do anything bad-”

Dean then rolled his eyes and huffed slightly, “Oh Sam what did you do this time?”

Sam stuttered, not being able to really explain himself properly, his face expressing his full concern, hurt like a lost puppy. He didn’t know what to do and this must have been evident to Dean and Tracey, because they both looked at him with sympathy. Tracey frowned slightly, her face processing in deep thought.

“Hmmm, did he suddenly take off?”

“Yes, yes he did…”

“Ok, and he didn’t say a word to you at all?”

Sam shook his head, still panicked and wishing that he would reappear again. He wasn’t willing to let him slip out of his life just like that, not when he hadn’t even got to know him yet. He had a different feeling with Cas, a feeling that he’s not sure he’s ever felt. It then dawned on Sam, this ache in his heart, the excitement and the rush over his body… _ oh Christ is this what they mean when you fall in love at first sight? _

Tracey then snapped him out of his head and approached closer to him, her face entirely serious, her arms on her hips and asked Sam with a stern and slightly aggressive tone, “Did you hurt him, Sam? Because if you did-”

Dean then intervened, putting himself in between the two of them and placed his arms out to ensure no confrontation was to occur any further. He looked at Sam and Tracey and then turned to Tracey with a look of concern, “hey now Trace, I know you barely know us and we could be weirdos for all you know, but I swear Sammy here… he wouldn’t hurt a fly let alone your friend Castiel, so please understand-”

Dean was then cut off by a strange sound that confused both him and Sam. It was a sound that was unexpected, but oddly enough continued and got louder. Of all things, it happened to be Tracey laughing, who was at this point becoming almost hysterical, throwing her body back indicating how much whatever it was made her howl so much. This left the two brothers even more baffled than before, looking at one another and beginning to wonder if this woman was completely nuts. Dean then lifted his hand and twisted his finger around to indicate the “crazy” gesture to Sam, who responded with a scared expression across his face.

They both stood there speechless, waiting patiently to understand what the hell was going on. All sorts began to spring into their minds, whether it was a big joke that Cas and Tracey were playing, that maybe this was all some kind of trick or weird flirting technique, or that maybe they had been lured in by some psychopath that they hadn’t seen coming. They were itching with anticipation as Tracey began to calm down and her laughter softened, small spouts of sniggering still leaving her breath.

“Tracey? Are you- what’s happening right now?” Dean asked with slight fear in his voice.

Tracey then turned to them, her grin still spread on her cheeks, near tears falling down her face. Luckily she had worn waterproof mascara as she gently wiped one of her tears with her finger and she began to stifle some words through the leftovers of wheezing laughter.

“Oh! Oh I’m so sorry boys, I just couldn’t resist! The looks on your faces… honestly! No, I can’t keep this up. I know what’s really happened and no doubt we’ll find Castiel in the corner sitting in a panic somewhere…”

Sam then frowned deeply, not being able to laugh at this and still not understanding where Tracey was coming from.

“Wait, what do you mean? Why would he panic? Have I made him-”

“Whoa whoa slow your horses stud. It’s okay! Crikey, have I got two Castiels to deal with now?”

Dean just stood there scratching his head, also wondering what was happening and still no wiser than before. Sam was still waiting for an explanation, and so Tracey sighed and put her hands as a gesture for Sam to calm down.

“Look, don’t worry yourself Sam. He’s a grown man. He’s older than you, ok? This has happened before. He’s not a social butterfly. In fact, I’m surprised and well, kind of pleased actually that this hasn’t made you walk away. He has little idea on how to flirt, and he hasn’t had a guy as attractive as you approach him the way you did let alone look at him in a suggestive way. Literature, movies, music, culture and travel, these are things he knows. But people? Forget it. He’s probably fretting right now over how much he likes you. Which is funny because I get the sense that’s exactly what you’re doing about him, am I right or am I right?”

Sam stood there completely stunned, a slither of a coy grin beginning to form on his lips. 

“Damn, you’re good…” Dean nodded in agreement with Sam.

Tracey shrugged and curtsied dramatically, grinning wildly and winked. 

“Okay chumps, let’s go find my best friend and hope to god he’s not in a gutter having a panic attack…”

*

Castiel was still in the dark back exit outside of the club, slightly shivering from the brisk chill that was now settling on his arms. He looked at the door, looked around at the strangers who were standing near him, also puffing away and coughing slightly. Castiel didn’t smoke much, but when he did, he chained them. He was on his third cigarette at this point, the nicotine providing a sense of ease to Cas’ mind and stomach. Cas was just glad he hadn’t thrown up this time.

But he could not stay indoors any longer. If he had, he would not have been able to hold out any longer, as he would probably have made the situation even worse somehow by embarrassing himself in front of Sam, or either that things between them could have gone too far too quickly. He wasn’t ready to get that serious so soon, even if he was heavily attracted to him.

It was evident that Castiel didn't really understand relationships, given that since he was 18, he had only had a couple of boyfriends that didn’t last anymore than a year, and how socialising wasn’t Cas’ strongest suit. The boyfriends he did have once weren’t outgoing people, and it became clear quite quickly at the time that neither of them were brilliant boyfriends anyway.

One of them was called Josh. He and Cas dated for about nine months before they finally got sick of one another. Josh was fairly tall, had blonde hair, nice enough eyes and wore glasses. He was a neat freak, which Cas couldn't get along with at all, and they often argued about stupid things like culture and politics, to the point where it was difficult to see eye to eye. It didn’t help that he was also really awkward with social gatherings, and so they hardly went anywhere.

Cas did recall that Josh wasn’t all bad though. They did have great times visiting museums together, reading literature and working in their college classes together too. Josh was a pretty good kisser and did know how to make a nice home cooked meal. He did also happen to be relatively attractive, his hair and eyes being his best features. He was a decent second boyfriend; despite their bickering. 

Unfortunately, the sex happened to end up being the dealbreaker. He vaguely remembered that their first time was awkward and they didn't really get each other's rhythm, which incidentally they never truly figured out. After deciding that they didn't mind sex not being a big factor in their relationship, only did Castiel begin to realise that he felt for Josh as more as a friend than he did a lover, and he couldn’t keep up with the pretence. Cas, while not a very good communicator, had to gently explain this to Josh, which he didn’t understand and it just made Josh angry and upset. 

Since their break up, Josh still has failed to forgive him, despite Castiel trying to patch it up when he tried to contact him a few months ago. Cas reckons that it was something that would probably never be fully resolved, especially as it was likely that Josh was asexual. 

It wasn’t like sex was even that big of a deal to Cas, but he knew that he didn’t love Josh in a romantic way when their sexual connection was stale and that Josh didn’t really enjoy it. Castiel didn’t generally enjoy sex with someone either if he didn’t love them, hence why one night stands never appealed to him. He tried it once and it was… well, regretful. Castiel bolted the moment he woke up in the stranger’s apartment. It wasn’t long after his and Josh’s break up, so Castiel put it down as part of his grievance of their relationship.

Castiel hoped that Josh would appreciate what he tried to do by letting go before their relationship got into too deep. He hoped that Josh would find someone who he could truly love. Of course he also hoped that for himself, but whether that was something likely at this point, he didn’t really know.

Now older, and having learnt a bit about relationships since Josh and the complete disaster that was Ryan, Castiel did hope he could find somebody he flowed with a lot more. Whether he was looking for love, he wasn’t sure, but surely no relationship could be worse than Ryan. Castiel shuddered thinking about him. Or maybe it was the cold biting his shoulders again.

Castiel really hoped that Sam wasn’t going to be another Ryan. A manipulative, controlling, douchey and bad-tempered son of a bitch that Castiel dreaded the idea of ever seeing again. It would be too soon if he did, and had to have been the worst six months of his life. He was glad to be rid of him and thankfully someone he was able to leave behind in Boston. He has never really admitted this to Tracey, but this was one of the factors as to why he left that godforsaken city. But of course his parents weren’t easy either. He just wanted to get Boston and the past that comes with it out of his mind and fully move on. Maybe he would go back there one day when the memories weren’t so fresh. Maybe he would take Sam there one day.  _ No wait, what the hell am I thinking?!  _

He just wished he could get the greek god out of his head and get Tracey to come home with him soon. He didn’t want to stay there any longer.

But then again, he didn’t know fate was intervening when the back door opened and out stepped the beautiful tall man himself with Tracey and his brother Dean following quickly behind. 

_ Ah shit, and they caught me in the middle of smoking! _

Castiel then noticed Tracey’s expression change pretty swiftly into annoyance when she saw the cigarette that Cas still had between his lips, and as he waited to see how Sam would react, he chose to pretend that he wasn’t just doing a filthy habit and quickly flicked the cancer stick to the wall, nervously grinning and unsure of what to say.

“So, it’s brisk out here huh?”


	5. Kismet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is surprised by a sight he doesn't expect. He doesn't know how long he can let his feelings for Cas overwhelm him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! Apologies this chapter has been heavily delayed. I can't promise at the moment how regular I will post chapters, but I'll try my best to get them published as soon as they're written. Also, if anyone has any constructive comments about this story, it would be much appreciated. I'm usually unsure of how good my writing is and whether I'm writing too much description. I hope this story still remains entertaining!

**Kismet**

As the trio rushed out of the back door, Sam’s heart was caught in his throat when he thankfully, almost like a miracle, happened to find Castiel standing outside the back exit. It seemed Tracey knew Castiel well to predict exactly where he would be. However, what Sam had hoped he would find was still an element of surprise, especially as they found the blue eyed man standing with such an unusual posture.

Not only had they found Castiel, who appeared to be in a state of instability and bewilderment, but they had also surprisingly caught him puffing away on a cigarette. He clearly did not intend for any of them to see this and Sam had to admit to himself that he found it incredibly cute how startled he looked, but then adding a cigarette to the equation was weirdly captivating. Sam raised his eyebrows and bit his lip, trying not to stare too hard at Castiel, who somehow looked even sexier than Sam already felt he was with a cigarette in his mouth.  _ What the hell is wrong with me? How can I find someone this attractive?  _

It became clearer that Cas’ smoking habit was not supposed to be discovered when Sam noticed from the corner of his eye the look on Tracey’s face. It would be obvious to anyone that she was very unimpressed. Tracey folded her arms and gave Cas a firm stare. 

Sam then figured out pretty quickly that Castiel was probably in big trouble made evident by Tracey's attitude.  _ Maybe this is something that's been a problem before _ , Sam wondered. Sam knew very well like anyone else the health risks of smoking, but he could understand if this was a habit that Cas couldn’t quite give up. Sam then began to imagine Cas in his college years, chain smoking when exams came up or on late nights with a group of people. 

The more he was spending time with Cas that night, the more he wanted to get to know him better. He hoped that he could remain in Cas' life even after this encounter, that he still had a chance at a potential relationship with him. He had a good feeling that he might still have a chance at this.

Being drawn back into reality again, Sam knew Tracey expected an explanation of some kind, but instead Castiel tried to play it off cool by throwing the cigarette aimlessly at the wall, slipping away from his fingers swiftly. Cas’ expression rapidly changed to a look of sheepishness, letting out a nervous laugh, and then making a fleeting comment about how cold it was outside to take attention away from the awkward situation. Castiel must have thought that he could pretend that nothing had happened.  _ Ooo, I’m curious to see how you’re going to get out of this one... _

Sam sniggered under his breath, a grin trying to creep across his face. He couldn’t help but find this whole situation absolutely hilarious, the moment actually bringing a weird sense of clarity for him, now knowing that Sam had been way more worried than he needed to be. It wasn't all over just yet. 

Thankfully, although he really wanted to, he managed to refrain from going into full hysterics. Before Sam tried to continue maintaining his composure, Tracey had put her finger up accusingly in Castiel’s direction, a death glare evident by her eyes, and yelled, “Cas! What the hell is this? Don’t try and pretend I didn’t see that death stick in your hand…”

She was scolding him as though she had just caught him doing the worst thing on the planet. It was like he was a little kid and Tracey was his mum. Castiel was trying to not snigger, with his face evidently trying to stay emotionless. He shrugged and bit his lip in a way that Sam found completely irresistible, watching his surprising methods in gently schmoozing his way out of the situation.

  
“Come on Trace, it was only one! If that. Please understand I just-”

“Just what, huh? Needed to smoke? What for! We’ve had this chat before Castiel, I don’t want you smoking those things!”

As Sam watched an argument between Cas and his best friend begin to unfold, he looked over at Dean who was also watching in disbelief, trying not to laugh. Sam was amazed that Dean hadn’t started snickering. This was such a weird situation, and Sam was sure that Dean was as perplexed as he was. It was also entertaining too, watching Cas as he somewhat successfully sweet talked Tracey like she was a one night stand that he had forgotten to call.

_ Was this the real Cas? Had I been fooled by his awkward demeanour? Maybe he was a big fat player, a professional schmoozer… and I played right into his hands. If Tracey could do that to Dean, maybe Cas could do it to me. But damn, if that’s true, I’m still impressed! I can’t turn away now. _

As Sam was stuck in his thoughts once more, he felt a hand nudge him. Dean was trying to get his attention. Dean was wiggling his eyebrows at Sam again, as it appeared that Cas was looking in his direction, the argument between him and Tracey beginning to fizzle out. 

"You might get lucky tonight, hey Sammy boy?" 

Sam rolled his eyes, "Shut up Dean. I don't know about that."

"Right, like you're not really into him. Just like he's not into you!" 

"Wait, so do you think he is then?" 

Dean snickered, grinning ear to ear and sarcastically quipped, "Yeah, you've totally not got the hots for him…"

"Jerk."

"Bitch."

Dean and Sam turned back to the scene. Tracey was still not pleased with Cas from the looks of it, but they had stopped shouting and Tracey’s voice was no longer shrilling. It was starting to get painful for his and Dean’s ears. No doubt Castiel’s too.

Suddenly, Sam heard his name called from Tracey’s lips. This brought him back to attention, his sleepy eyes trying to stay open. He wanted to stay up as late as he could. He didn’t want this night to end yet. Sam briefly looked at his watch, noticing that it was only half 10. 

He then slowly stepped closer to Tracey and Cas, noticing that Tracey was looking at Sam as though it was his turn to speak, but he hadn’t actually heard what she had said, having been strongly invested in his own thoughts.

“Hmm? My name was called?” Sam spoke gingerly, his hands in his pockets. This was a moment of dawning reality. The fun was coming to an end and he was suddenly feeling self conscious. His feelings for a near stranger were hanging heavy on his heart and he didn’t know what was going to happen. He was hoping that this ordeal was going to continue, and that he could keep interacting with Cas, even if it was platonically.

“Yeah, tall stud, it was. Do you approve of this habit?”

“What, er smoking? Um, well-”

“No, you don’t of course. Right? Exactly! Smoking is disgusting Cas, and I don’t understand why you had to lie to me about it…”

Castiel shrugged again, looking away from Tracey’s hard gaze as though he was still in big trouble.  _ They were really damn close for her to behave like this. Did they live together or something? _

“Look Tracey, I just needed some air, ok? I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that I’m still having the occasional smoke. But I swear to you, it’s just the odd one! You know I’ve been pretty good for the last few months. You hadn’t seen me with one recently, had you?”

Castiel smiled warmly, and for a moment Sam noticed the beautiful expression was also toward himself, and Sam smiled back all gooey, biting his lip and knowing that this guy could easily fool anyone with that sexy grin. Cas made him feel like a stereotypical high school cheerleader who was flirting with the football jock. 

Thankfully, Tracey had finally resided and given in, accepting his apology. She gave him a soft smile, rolling her eyes and chuckling. She gave Cas a huge hug, holding him tight as Sam watched Cas trying to reach out for breath. Sam chuckled at this, realising that this was a true friendship. It reminded Sam of him and his brother.

Dean was now edging toward the three of them standing there, trying to intervene and tapping Tracey on her shoulder. “Ok ok guys… are we good now? Have we put out the fire? C’mon! The night is young, you filthy animals. I have shots to still be drunk!”

Tracey was biting her lip and giggling, nodding her head while letting Dean grab her as they walked away from the two dumbfounded men, her grasp on Dean’s shoulders and Dean’s hand low on her waist. Dean then turned briefly back to the two of them and exclaimed, “Hey now you two, don’t do anything I wouldn’t!” Tracey nodded and winked at them both also, and began giggling once more.

Blushing slightly and looking down at his shoes, Sam felt a wave of embarrassment hit him for a moment. Both Sam and Cas then managed to overhear Tracey whispering, “I’ll gladly let you drink your shots on my stomach if you want”, her whole attitude completely changed. Dean growled like a tiger, grabbing her and sharing a quick passionate kiss before they disappeared out of sight back into the nightclub.

Sam, then gulping and frowning at what had just occurred, turned back toward Castiel, who was standing very close to him. He too, turned at the same time to face Sam, his expression looking incredibly frightened. As the two men stared at each other for a moment, their awkward expressions suddenly changed into massive grins, and then they were cracking up into cackles of laughter. 

Castiel’s laughter sounded so melodic, Sam noticing a subtle snort intertwined in the sound, which made it hard for Sam not to laugh further. It was getting ridiculous. He was completely intoxicated by this blue eyed guy, and everything he did Sam was deeply enticed by. Sam wondered if Castiel could even sense how he felt, or that Castiel didn’t have a clue. Something told him he was completely clueless. 

They kept on laughing for a good couple of minutes, Cas rolling away a tear and shaking his head. He pointed his thumb back toward where Tracey had been, trying to steady his breathing as he still held back the giggles in his throat. “So, err.. Tracey, she might- she might seem like a h-handful…” Cas snickered once more. Sam too was still holding back. 

Castiel then took a deep breath and finally stopped. Sam waited patiently for Cas to finish what he wanted to say.

“She might seem like a handful, but she’s really ok. It’s only my crappy on and off habit that she disapproves of. I guess it was because it reminds her of how I was persuaded by someone in my past into smoking and I haven’t quite cut the habit yet. I hope it doesn’t repulse you too much…”

Sam appreciated his honesty and was amazed by how matter-of-fact he was. Maybe it really was the club that was making him too hot, not Sam making him feel uncomfortable.

“No, no I totally get it. Dean used to smoke for years, but he quit last year. I never really got into the habit, but I understand how addictive it can be whenever I watched Dean during his nicotine withdrawals.”

Castiel nodded, a grin still subsided on his face, reaching into his pocket to grab a packet of cigarettes that Sam soon realised he had stashed there in secret. Sam watched him, mesmerised by his calibre, while Castiel lifted one from the batch and placed it in his mouth in a swift fashion. He then lit the stick and took a smooth drag.  _ Oh god, it’s like watching porn. How dare he! And he doesn’t even fucking know what he’s doing to me… _

As Castiel took another drag he finally looked back up at Sam and eyed him up, slightly frowning but still slightly grinning. He asked amusedly, “What is it?”

Sam then briefly left his transfixed gaze and focused on reality once more. Those big blue eyes were hard not to lose himself in.

“N-nothing… it’s just. Did I scare you? I mean in the club, did I make you uncomfortable?”

Castiel bit his lip and sighed, “Not exactly. The thing is, I did need air… but it was a little overwhelming that someone as handsome as you who looked the way you did in the moment, I couldn’t get my head around it! I couldn’t accept that it was happening.”

Sam then understood, almost disappointed to hear the words being said. He then looked at Cas sincerely, wanting to reassure him that while he may have looked the way Cas thinks he does, it does not mean that he should ever feel that insecure about it.

“Oh Cas, I’m really sorry you felt that way, but why? Why is that so difficult for you?”

“Because I’ve usually blown it. I never have gotten lucky with someone like you.”

Sam was then slightly taken aback by this.  _ Whoa, does Castiel really think that highly of me? What does he mean by ‘someone like me’? _

“What do you mean ‘like me’?”

Castiel scoffed, “Come on Sam, you must know what you mean.”

Sam then retorted back, “Well hell, isn’t this ironic?”

Castiel frowned, “Um ok how-”

“Jesus Cas you are a sight for sore eyes, okay? Like come on, if I’m supposed to be this supposedly hot guy, then what the hell are you?”

This apparently stunned Castiel a bit, as he had no answer for that.

Sam then planted a sarcastic smirk across his lips, crossed his arms and continued to stand in his spot waiting for a response. Castiel was no longer grinning and looked away from Sam, just like he was when Tracey was staring fiercely at him only ten minutes ago.

“So, are you still pretending to show an interest in me because you just want to get laid, or are you genuinely serious?” Castiel quipped.

Sam then realised what was happening. Castiel was playing coy, and this was his way of flirting. It was enough to make Sam want to grab Castiel in his arms, push him against the wall and have a serious makeout session. But he thought against it until he knew Castiel would be comfortable with that.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Sam responded, his own coy smirk flashing across his face. Castiel returned the smirk and reached into his pocket and grabbed another smoke from the packet. As he lit and puffed on his cigarette, he then gestured and asked Sam, “do you want one?” Sam then twitched his face and looked down at the packet. Considering it and almost reluctant, wondered if one would be that harmful. He shrugged and carefully grabbed one from the stash.

Castiel chuckled, “it’s harder than you think to not resist one when you’re a bit drunk, huh?”

Sam placed the cigarette between his lips, looking down at it as Castiel lit it up for him. Sam then gently took a drag, and evidently due to not being used to it, coughed up a bit of the smoke that struggled to go down his throat. Castiel then snorted, watching him intently and shaking his head. 

“Shut up, I told you I’ve barely done this…”

“Yeah. Please don’t tell Tracey that you saw me smoke anymore.”

Sam nodded and added, “Don’t tell Dean I smoked one. He would then think that he could bum one too.”

Castiel nodded and chuckled, taking another pull from his own ciggy. Sam began to stare at Castiel once more, and Castiel side glanced at him, recognising that he was being looked at by Sam again. Castiel took a deep breath and gazed back, not being able to look away this time.

“Damn Sam, you need to stop looking at me like that…”

“Like what?”

“Like… I don’t know, like you want to undress me?”

Sam shook his head and scoffed, “Pfft, I have no idea what you’re talking about.” A grin was appearing on the corner of his mouth.

Castiel then squinted his eyes, a frown appearing across his forehead. 

“You seem to not have any idea about most things I’m talking about. Or are you bullshitting me?”

Sam coyly remarked, “I don’t know, am I?”

Castiel then tilted his forehead and gave Sam an edge of a cocky smirk, which Sam found incredibly attractive, along with the flick of his highlighted hair and this boyish charm that the tall man couldn’t resist.

“I wouldn’t get too confident Sam, some people might think you’re very deserving of a slap in the face.”

“Oh, but you wouldn’t do that would you, Cas?”

Castiel then quickly retorted, “I don’t know yet. I need to get to know you better…”

Suddenly, Castiel was standing in front of Sam, and even though Cas was shorter than he was, Castiel was looking at him with an expression that Sam hadn’t noticed in Cas’ eyes as of yet, a look that unsettled him slightly. It almost felt like Cas was towering over him.

_ How would I have known that a guy that looked so innocent would surprise me so much like this? _

“You know Castiel, you’re very misleading…”

Castiel then stepped closer and gazed in Sam’s eyes, his pupils wide and dilated. Sam shuddered slightly, now feeling Cas’ warmth of his body almost touching his.

“How so, Sam?”

“You don’t seem as awkward as you claim yourself to be…”

“Trust me, I’m not usually this forward. But there is something about you that’s drawing me in. As strange as this might sound, but you have walked into my life out of nowhere, and now... I don’t want to let you go.”

Sam was stunned, unsure of what to say next. It sure seemed like they were already both in the habit of surprising one another, neither one of them backing off from what they felt they needed to express.

“Then don’t,” Sam whispered firmly.

The tension between the two of them was only growing further the more they interacted with one another, and neither one of them ever thought that their night would turn out this way. It was only getting more difficult for Sam to back down and just give into how he was feeling without the fears that he had been fighting against.

_ Boy, this is going to be a long night. _

Castiel’s mouth was inches away from his own when he whispered back, “I guess I should have explained that playing hard to get is what I’m best at.”

“I’m starting to get that…”

Castiel put his hand on Sam’s face, but Sam was afraid to move.

_ Does he want to be kissed now? _

Sam felt his confidence begin to shaken, the look in Cas' eyes making him nervous. He was so close to Cas' face, their bodies almost touching once more. Sam suddenly had forgotten what he was supposed to do next. 

_ Shit, this Castiel is like no other…  _   
  
  



	6. Kismet II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Directly following on from the previous chapter, Castiel finally gives into his feelings and Sam certainly isn't complaining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I lied and said this chapter would be up this weekend. That was supposed to be yesterday!
> 
> Ah well. 
> 
> FINALLY though. Finally here is chapter 6.
> 
> I worked harder on this chapter than the previous ones because I wanted to get it exactly right. You'll understand why when you read it.
> 
> I have also had doubts about my writing ability lately which I've managed to shrug off for the time being.
> 
> ANYWAY. Enjoy!

**Kismet part II**

In that very moment, Castiel was gradually becoming further intrigued by what might happen between him and Sam, how close they were getting and how the night might end. He still didn’t quite know what he felt about Sam except that he was definitely attracted to him. He wouldn’t be standing so close to him right in that very moment if he wasn’t. He had an awakened urge to kiss him that was only getting maddeningly more desperate.

He had fought with these kinds of feelings before. His apprehension and distant approach to affection from others and having boyfriends became ever more consistent through the knowledge of his naivety in the past. He was treated so badly in his previous relationships, that he didn’t want to make the same mistake of trusting a lover, who could end up just being the same as the previous ones. 

But the main issue that Cas had with this chance encounter with Sam was that this gorgeous guy was only making it harder for him, making him question everything he had ever experienced in relationships before, which left him stumbling on what to do next. He knew that running away no longer made any sense. Perhaps he was going to have to figure it out as the night progressed.

Castiel didn’t think he had ever felt this strongly in his life for anyone. He couldn’t get his head around how he could feel this way about someone he had only just met. He kept wondering, almost rationalising, trying to question himself that this was all in his head, that this was just pure infatuation and he was bound to move on from it like any other crush that he’s had before.

_ Surely it’s just a stupid crush! I can get over this… _

Simultaneously, he couldn’t shake the feeling that this time it was different. It was not like the other times before. He wished that he could just keep pretending to play it cool. 

_ I’m definitely cool, me. I am the King of cool! In my Miami Vice suit I look badass. _

_ … _

_ Oh crap, what am I talking about. I am losing it. _

He was having to try his absolute hardest to not be fooled by Sam’s charm. He was dreading the idea that this greek god, who he had been flirting with so abnormally easily at this point, and was the first guy where he felt like he could be more of himself and not so dorky or awkward, could end up being the absolute worst guy of them all.

_ What if Sam turns out to be the biggest control freak? What if he ends up dumping me within a week? I don’t want another stupid fling, I want the real thing. Did that rhyme? Oh holy Lord... _

Castiel had been wanting a meaningful relationship for quite some time now, but there were always concerns of what that might mean. He didn’t know if he was even the committing type, especially as he was still young and could end up running away from it, or if he actually was willing to go the distance and accept the risks that came with being completely open to a person. With Ryan and Josh, he figured out fairly quickly that neither of them were going to last forever and the vulnerability he felt only made that more apparent. Putting himself on full display to potentially get hurt was not something Castiel felt comfortable doing again.

However, he knew that this openness that you’re supposed to have in a functional relationship might be a situation that Cas will have to confront whether he liked it or not.

_ Maybe I need to be honest with Sam about my exes. That way he could understand why I’m so reserved and scared. But will that make me vulnerable? I don’t know anymore. I know that I don’t like being vulnerable that’s for sure. _

Castiel sighed, his hand still caressing the other man’s cheek, his eyes fixated on Sam’s. He bit his lip and gently whispered, “I play hard to get because I get afraid…” he squinted his eyes slightly, almost wincing at his own honesty. He didn’t know what the truth was going to cost him.

“Afraid?”

Castiel nodded. He took a deep breath and wet his lips, opening his eyes and trying to figure out what Sam was thinking. Cas then gingerly brushed his nose against Sam’s, putting his other hand on Sam’s neck.

“I’ve been let down before. Twice. It was pretty bad both times. I guess...if I keep a distance from intimacy, then I won’t get hurt again…”

Sam smiled, “Oh Castiel… I get it. I do. I don’t want to hurt you,”

Castiel felt his breath falter, his mouth centimetres away from Sam’s. Castiel then gulped, that sly and irresistible grin was working on him and Castiel couldn’t hold back any longer. Sam’s breath sounded hitched, there was no indication that Sam wanted to back away. The man’s lips were a gorgeous shade of pink, the shape of them making Cas feel like his brain was melting. They were partially open and ready to be taken with his.

“Sam, I…”

The tall man knew what Castiel was trying to ask and nodded slowly.

“Yeah, please just-”

Castiel finally took a leap of courage and planted his lips gently but firmly on to the greek god’s. He felt Sam reciprocate so swiftly and urgently, his lips so supple and smooth, the rhythm and flow of the kiss so elegant and unlike anything that Castiel could easily describe. He felt his mind burst with a whirlwind of emotions, the syncing of his and Sam’s lips so perfect. He could taste the cigarette that Sam bashfully attempted to smoke only moments ago on Sam’s tongue as he easily allowed Cas to explore the opening of his mouth. Cas then felt Sam’s tongue react with eagerness to his own, the teasing flickers of it making him quiver with excitement, and as he reached his tongue further, he could hear Sam stifle a moan and Cas responded likewise.

Cas felt Sam’s hands wonder as he snaked his arms around his own back with a soft ease, gradually succumbing to a tighter embrace that made him tingle with delight.

_ Wow… this feels… _

_ Safe? _

Castiel had never felt safety within a kiss before. He had never felt such passion before. As Cas deepened the kiss, it only made Sam react even more so and respond in hunger. He continued to play with Sam’s tongue, their mouths now fully open and he could hear a hint of panting coming from the tall man’s throat. He then too felt himself begin to lose his breath, and he did not want to depart from the amazing feeling, like sparks were flying, warming his heart and sending shivers down his spine. Moments later he reluctantly let go, and as he felt Sam loosen and take his lips away from his own, Cas then opened his eyes and began to feel his breath resurface.

Castiel then felt Sam’s breath on his neck, Sam’s hand still clasped on his cheek and the other pressed gently on his hip. He saw Sam’s eyes flicker open, his mouth still parted.

“Whoa…” Sam uttered through puffs of exhalation, his pupils clearly dilated and his cheeks flushed the same as Cas had noticed they were in the nightclub. Castiel was speechless. He managed to nod in agreement to Sam’s mesmerised reaction to the kiss that they had just shared, unwilling to completely ungrasp himself from the embrace that he found himself within.  _ Crap, I definitely can’t let him go… _

Sam still stared into his eyes, making Cas feel vulnerable, while also in complete awe of this man before him, finally admitting to himself that he was falling hard with him at a point of no return. 

_ I never want to know my life again without him in it. _

He then felt Sam’s hand stroke his cheek; the feeling continuing to send butterflies to his stomach. Cas bit his lip and placed the palm of his own hand on Sam's chest, almost fumbling with the cute button down that the tall man was wearing. Sam looked at him with an expression on his face that he didn’t recognise. His eyes looked hazy and what Cas could only describe as blissful.  _ I can only hope Sam feels the same way. _

“Castiel, you are something different. I’ve never met anyone like you before…”

“Mmm, and is that good or bad?”

“Definitely good…”

Castiel then smiled, looking down sheepishly at his feet, suddenly feeling shy again. He hadn’t felt this smitten over a guy like this for a long time, if ever.

“Well, I’m glad that I make you feel good…”

Sam then giggled, the sound so endearing and lovely for Cas to hear, the best sound that he had ever heard.

“That could definitely be interpreted inappropriately,” Sam winked at Cas and flashed him a seductive grin. Castiel then reciprocated and leaned close to Sam’s lips once more.

“Inappropriate is my middle name.”

“Oh, I bet…”

Sam then kissed him, his gentle lips covering his own once more, the taste being so sweet and tingling. Castiel smiled through the kiss and scrunched Sam’s shirt into the fist of his hand, pulling him even closer that their bodies embraced once more. Sam responded by placing his hands on Castiel’s waist and deepening the kiss momentarily before parting away and stroking Cas’ hair. Sam gazed into Cas’ eyes and with a smile that seemed to be stuck on his face like glue, then offered his hand to be taken by his own, which Cas agreed to.

“Does this feel right? I mean, if you can kiss me like that, then hand holding is tame in comparison…” Castiel stared down at their hands, fiddling with Sam’s fingers, the warmth of Sam’s hand sending sparks through his arm, shuddering from the feeling.  _ Damn, even holding his hand is making me dizzy.  _ He then looked back up at Sam to respond to his question.

Castiel scoffed, “Right is overrated. Nothing makes sense at this point…”

“What makes you say that?”

He then turned to face Sam once more as their conversation continued.

“You walked into my life. Of all the nightclubs you could have gone to, you ended up here. I can’t get my head around that just yet.”

Sam frowned, “Why is me walking into your life so hard to believe?”

Castiel then gently let go of Sam’s hand and sighed, scratching his head and sort of pacing on the spot.

“Well, I guess this is as good a time as any to explain myself. Relationships and me, they have been very crappy in the past. I guess to meet someone like you is just, very unlikely to be this good to be true…”

Sam’s eyes softened and he nodded, “I get it. Relationships are tough. I haven’t exactly had a good track record.”

“But, how? What could be so terrible about you?”

“Jeez Cas, I can’t be put on a pedestal! I’m not perfect…”

“But you look like a greek god…”

Sam then looked taken aback, his eyebrows frowning once more and directly looking at him to explain himself further. A grin resurfacing.   


“I’m sorry, what?”

“Greek god. That’s what I was calling you in my head before you told me your name. Your shape, your face, you just look so perfectly chiseled like a statue in a gallery. I can’t describe you in any other way…”

_ How can I remain composed like this? How can I even open my mouth and say these words? Am I just going to feed his ego describing him like he’s a piece of art? _

_ Shit, I don’t know what I’m doing! _

Sam’s eyes widened, shaking his head and scoffing in disbelief.

“Wow Castiel. Do you have a filter at all?”

“Apparently not tonight, no.”

“Nobody has ever said I look like a greek god. That’s a new and worthy pick up line. Have you used it before?”

Castiel shook his head, slightly frowning and puzzled as to how Sam could even ask that.

“Surely you should know by now I can’t flirt very well,”

Sam smirked, “Oh but you can. You’re modest.”

“I’m just telling the truth!”

“Yeah, and it’s working on me. Your honesty is hot.”

Castiel then squinted his eyes and began to smile once more. 

_ Damn you Sam for making me smile so much like this. _

“You really are full of it,” Castiel then chuckled, which earned another chuckle out of Sam.

“Maybe, but I can’t help how I feel about you…”

Sam grabbed Cas’ hand and put it on his chest. Castiel quietly gasped at the feeling.

“This. See? This is what you do to me,” Sam uttered firmly with his intense eyes that made Cas weak at the knees. He could hear and feel the loud thump that was beating rapidly coming from Sam’s chest. Castiel was amazed.

“Am I doing that to your heart?”

“Nothing else is.”

Castiel then bit his lip once more out of nervousness. He pondered for a moment and then grabbed Sam’s hand and put it on his own chest.

  
“Well, it appears the feeling’s mutual,”

Sam flashed his 100-watt smile, fulfilling Cas and making his body tingle once more, his hands being taken into Sam’s again and felt Sam’s lips kiss his cheek. The tall man then proceeded to peck his neck gently, which made Cas shiver. He closed his eyes momentarily to the feel of Sam’s lips.

“Nobody has made me feel this strongly, Sam…”

“Right back at ya…” Sam whispered and nipped at the edge of Cas’ ear.

Castiel giggled slightly and frowned at Sam, giving him a look of confusion. The world had felt still for so long like they were the only two of them left. It was a feeling that Castiel never wanted to depart from anymore.

Sam then gestured to him with a side glance to the door, Sam’s eyes sparkling and practically making him weak at the knees, while he attempted to not leave a trail of drool beside him.

Sam then asked gently with a serious expression across his face.

“Shall we go back inside now? Like, is that cool with you?”

Castiel wondered, debating if it was a good idea to be near so many people again and whether he felt comfortable with it. Tracey and Dean were still in there so at least that was something. Castiel considered that maybe Tracey wouldn’t want him and Sam to leave without her knowing. This sort of thing doesn’t often happen to Cas so he wasn’t entirely sure how she would react. For all Cas knew she could be completely occupied by Dean and nothing else mattered.

He shrugged and thought  _ screw it, I’ll go back in so long as I have Sam by my side. _

Castiel nodded at Sam and the tall man smiled, biting his lip in a way that Castiel found so enticing and they grabbed each other’s hands once more and stepped into the back entrance of the club, his heart beating furiously in time with the beat of the thumbling music that could be heard once more in the background.

The buzz and the loudness of the club was coming back into focus just as it was only an hour ago, and it wasn’t a feeling that Cas felt naturally able to bring himself to relax into. The flow and the crowdedness was always overwhelming for him and he reckoned that would never really change. But when he looked up at Sam, the gaze in those beautiful eyes made it more bearable. The firm grip of Sam’s on his own was reassuring and the physical contact made him feel a tingle go up his veins. Sam’s confidence flowed through him and eventually Cas felt at ease.

The flashing neon lights were rotating around them and the electric heat that Cas had felt before when he first saw Sam was beginning to rise once more. Castiel found it strange how this atmosphere caused such a fill of sensual tension within him, not being able to understand and rationalise why this was occurring, but nevertheless Cas was no longer feeling afraid about it like he once was. Now knowing that he had nothing to be scared of, or at the very least in that moment finding no reason to be, he could relax.

Castiel wanted to enjoy himself with Sam. He wanted to feel good again. He missed having this feeling. And this time it was even better because it was reciprocated. It made him forget the crowds of people, it made him forget the swirling lights that half made him dizzy. He needn’t be anymore dizzy when he already felt drunk on these feelings that he shared for the greek god. It was probably too much for him to admit that it could be more than just lust at this point, but he knew he might have to face that sooner than he was comfortable with.

Right now, he was just going to accept that he was in amazing company and see what felt natural in the moment. 

Castiel then almost forgot that his hand was still being held by Sam’s, up until he then felt the warmth of his touch suddenly fade. But it then soon returned when Sam grabbed one of his hands and with the other, planted it on his waist. Electricity soared through him from the hand that was now dangerously close to his butt, a feeling that he was far more willing to accept this time. Sam then began to sway the both of them in time with the music being played. It felt almost like a dream. A fuzzy, romantic and lucid dream. It was like he was intoxicated by him and nothing else could match up to his focus. Sam was all that mattered.

Castiel then placed his head on Sam’s shoulder, breathing him in and moaning happily, closing his eyes and grinning as Sam continued to gently swing him round a circle like they were at a high school prom dance.

“You smell really good…” Cas mumbled.

Sam then chuckled and Cas could feel Sam’s chest raise as he did so, whilst simultaneously being able to hear Sam’s racing heartbeat. Castiel was amazed and slightly gasped under his breath, noticing this strange sound once more. He then took his head away from Sam’s shoulder and looked up at Sam.

“Am I making your heartbeat that fast again?”

Sam’s eyes were half squinted, his gaze bewildering Cas. Sam lifted a tiny smirk across his lips.

“Do you even need to ask?”

Castiel then giggled and shook his head, suddenly noticing from the corner of his eye in the place where Sam’s heart would be, a necklace dangling off his neck. A beautiful silver one with an angel for a charm. The angel shape was made up from a green gemstone. Castiel touched it and placed the charm on his fingertips. Castiel felt Sam still looking down at him.

“It’s my guardian angel. Well, it’s what I believe it to be. Dean gave it to me as a gift.”

“It’s beautiful. What gem is it?”

“Emerald. I’m born in May.”

“Ohh.. how sweet. I’m a July baby.”

“So, that makes your gemstone… ruby? Of course your birthstone would be an expensive one,” Sam retorted while winking.

Castiel then scoffed, “I have you know that I’m worth every penny.”

Sam then twirled Castiel around, and twirled him back with a twist of his long arm, a typical dance move that rushed Cas off his feet, taking him by surprise. He had not experienced that move before and he had to gradually recompose himself. But he did not have much of a chance when he felt Sam cradle him in his strong, athletic arms.

“You can say that again,” Sam whispered in Cas’ ear and continued to take the lead of slow dancing to the synthy gentle sounds of the music blaring from the speakers above.

Castiel was so damn glad that Tracey forced him out of the house.

-


	7. Enchantment

**Enchantment**

Castiel was having the best night of his life. He was being twirled around on the dancefloor, being held close by an amazing man of whom he was still struggling to accept was real. He wondered momentarily if this would only be perfect tonight, and tomorrow he would be gone. He was afraid that this could end up being all this ever is. 

_ One night. Like Cinderella. But she did get her prince in the end. _

He looked at Sam and Sam looked at him. It felt so genuine that Castiel doubted anyone could look at him the way Sam did and for it not to mean anything. Maybe Sam was just a player and did the same routine with every guy he found attractive. But Cas wanted to not think about it and enjoy the time they did have.

They were now standing by the bar again like before, the time getting toward the midnight mark. Sam was now whispering in his ear something funny that Cas hadn’t expected.

“Those ladies to the side of us, yeah?” Sam sideglanced to his left.

Cas glanced over to his right hand side, noticing the two women that were only a couple metres away from them were gently swaying to the music. One of them had brightly neon orange coloured hair. The other had neon pink hair.

“Do you think they knew that they were spray painting their hair?”

Castiel then nearly spat his drink out, managing to place the glass back down, snickering and then fully on howling into Sam’s chest. They both hysterically giggled together, finding comfort and reassurance in one other. The two women looked over to them for a moment and frowned. Cas partially noticed this and continued to laugh.

“I mean... it’s probably cheaper right?” Cas held his laughter back.

Sam then tilted his hair in momentary confusion.

“You know, cheaper than going to the salon. And you can’t get hair more neon than that from a drugstore bottle! Must have bought the spray cans from 12 year olds on the street…”

Sam then cackled and began to slap Cas’ shoulder from laughing so hard.

“Oh god… how do we find this so funny? I’m crying!” Sam exclaimed.

Cas shook his head and shrugged.

  
“Just casual observation, you know? It’s not our fault that we happen to notice hair that could stand out from five miles away. I mean, they could be you know… the revolutionary new traffic light colours!”

Sam then snickered and leaned his arms on Cas’ shoulders, clearly becoming drunker as he and Cas shared conversation, which nagged at Cas’ mind as a reason that this night could turn sour. 

_ What if he becomes so drunk that he doesn’t remember us like this? _

Castiel frowned, looking at his own glass and looking at Sam drinking more of his cocktail. He could see that they were both intoxicated and if they drank anymore, neither of them would be able to stand up any longer.

“Sam…” Cas breathed slightly staggered.

Sam was slowing his laughter, only a smile still remained, until he then saw the serious expression on Cas’ face as he heard his name, his smile faltered and Cas realised that maybe this was a mistake. Cas sighed heavily and debated whether what he was going to say next would benefit him or make the situation worse. 

Sam looked at him disconcertingly, his eyes hinted with fear, a panic that Cas had awakened only by saying his name in a serious manner. Cas didn't want to worry Sam at all, that was not what he had intended, feeling an element of regret but needing to say what he felt. He needed to be more honest before this situation got out of control. 

"Sam, I don't want to put a damper on this amazing time I'm having with you right now, but I'm afraid that we’ll only have this one night and I don't want this night to end," Cas pleaded at him with his eyes, steadying himself in Sam’s embrace, struggling to deal with the mixed emotions that were whirling around his head. 

_ Is this a good idea? Am I being too honest? Is the drink doing this to me? Goddamnit…  _

Sam stared at Cas, frowning and biting his lip. Castiel sensed that Sam didn't know what to say to Castiel's truthfulness, and it was making Cas ache with anxiety. He looked down at the floor and sighed, no longer being able to look at Sam in the eye. 

He then felt Sam's hand tug his own, Sam’s other hand stroking his cheek so tenderly, making Cas flutter his eyes closed while humming at the feeling. The hand on his cheek then began to travel into the locks of his hair as Sam stroked it gently. Despite being mystified by the gesture, begging internally for Sam to say something, he couldn’t help but enjoy the touches. He truly wanted to be engulfed by him. 

He would happily let Sam take him to sexual ecstasy, where they could run away together into the night and Sam could do as he pleased to him, if that's what he wanted. But being able to explain that to Sam felt almost impossible. And telling himself that feeling this way was perfectly understandable was a constant battle that incessantly went through his mind. He wanted to ignore his brain and just go with his heart. He had to take the risk. He couldn't keep doing the same shit anymore. 

Castiel opened his eyes and found Sam staring at him, almost like he was in a trance. He wanted to yell at Sam to see if he would listen and snap him out of it. It felt simpler to do so rather than accept the physical touches that were making him feel like he was in an endless array of clouds. It was frustratingly intoxicating, but yet he couldn’t pretend. He couldn’t go along with something with the endless fear of it ending.

Sam then finally opened his mouth and with a croak in his throat, managed to stifle out with slurred words, “You are everything I want Cas. I don’t want this to be over either. Please understand that what I feel is hard for me to say. I can express it in actions but I don’t want to disappoint you. I-I am scared too and I haven’t had it easy either with past relationships. I didn’t want to come on too strong because I usually scare other men off…’

He then gulped the last mouthful of his cocktail, not knowing where to place the glass but still holding on to, slightly swaying out of drunkenness, eventually placed it back on to the bar counter. Castiel had a feeling that Sam was going to say more and waited for him to continue.

“...I’m not, I am terrible in relationships because I give too much too soon. I didn’t want to screw up tonight because I was afraid that you would leave me and I honestly panicked when I saw you were no longer by my side earlier on when you went outside and I-”

Castiel then pushed his finger on Sam’s lips, and Sam frowned at him. Cas then shushed him and sighed for the millionth time. It finally dawned on him that he had been too hard on Sam and had no right to have any doubts. All his worries were only based on presumptions and he couldn’t let Sam think that it was his fault when really it was just Cas’ insecurities that was causing this non-issue.

“Oh Sam I’m really sorry. I have, I have ruined this night by opening up my stupid mouth-”

Sam then shook his head and began to protest but Castiel told him to listen. Sam shut his mouth and waited for him to speak.

“Look. I was stupid for walking out like I did. I was afraid that this was moving too fast because I’m not generally comfortable with one night stands and I didn’t want this to just be one night and I couldn’t bear the idea that all I might be is a sexual encounter and nothing else to you-”

Sam then suddenly smacked his lips against Cas’, the urging feeling from Sam indicating that he must have disagreed with him. Castiel fell into the kiss and let out a soft moan, gently moving his lips along with Sam’s. He then felt Sam let go and Sam put his forehead against his own, looking at him intensely and whispering a faint no.

“You are not getting rid of me that easily Castiel…”

He felt Sam’s arm wrapped around his neck almost posessively, feeling Sam’s intense emotion in the grip of his body and Cas tightened them together with his own arms. He proceeded to whisper into Sam’s ear, “I never want to get rid of you…”

A beautiful chuckle was heard from Sam, feeling his chest raise up and down as they continued to hold one another for what felt like a lifetime. 

Soon, as less crowds of people became more apparent, Sam and Cas noticed people starting to sit down at the rows of booths by the walls on the other side of the club, which then brought their attention to Tracey and Dean waving at them and ushering them to come over. Castiel rolled his eyes and shook his head, not knowing what Tracey had in mind this time, but figuring it was trouble. Sam shrugged and they took one another’s hands and walked over to them.

As they reached their way to the booth they could see Tracey and Dean cuddled up on one side of the booth. Cas figured she would probably notice that he and Sam’s hands were clasped together. He tried to listen to what she was saying as she tried to ask loudly where the both of them had been, but she then glanced down at both of their hands and then gave him a knowing look, wiggling her eyebrows like Cas knew she would.

The music then quietened down, a softer song beginning to play, which eased Cas’ ears from the loudness of the speakers. As he and Sam sat down on the other side of the booth, he found Tracey staring at them intently with a smirk across her lips and her eyes glazed over. Cas then noticed the tray of empty glasses sitting on the table in front of them confirming that she and Dean must be pretty drunk. He figured this would happen, but he was fine with it as it wasn’t something Tracey did regularly and she probably needed to let off some steam.

Castiel felt slightly woozy himself, a courage awakening within him that he had forgotten ever existed. He was sure that the alcohol was partially to thank for providing him with this new found confidence, but he also knew that the reassurance from Sam and reciprocation of his kisses was also why he no longer felt as anxious. Sure, he was still scared with the uncertainty of where this night might lead, but it was now mixed with excitement.

_ And that kiss was definitely mind blowing. I will have to have those lips again sooner rather than later… _

Suddenly he was taken away from his thoughts once more and saw that not only Tracey was watching him and Sam closely, but Sam was also looking at him from the corner of his eye. He turned to face Sam and struggled to recognise his facial expression, his eyes saying something different. He then remembered that Sam looked at him like this earlier. The look that got him panicked and dashing out the backdoor. This very look was matching up to the concerns that had been toying in his mind for the last few hours.

There was a possibility that he was going to have sex with Sam that night and this absolutely terrified him.

_ What if I am terrible? What if I can’t make him feel good like that? I mean sure he finds me attractive, but sex is definitely not my expertise even if I have done it a few times. I hope he knows that even if I can flirt, that doesn’t mean I can… well, pleasure him properly. Ugh, maybe he will guide me somehow… I hope that’s something he’ll be ok with!  _

Castiel tensed up slightly, frowning and looking away from Sam. He hoped that he wasn’t being too obvious about what he was thinking. Maybe if he started talking then they could change the subject. That was a good idea until Tracey opened up her mouth before he had the chance.

“So… are you two having fun?”

Castiel looked up at his best friend and smiled, “Yes, I think so…”

“You think so? You’re not going to tell me anything? Like what you two have been up to? I saw you both on the dance floor laughing and flirting with one another. You can’t hide from me…”

Tracey had a sly grin on her face and Castiel cringed, fully knowing that she could easily embarrass him like this. That was when Sam chimed in.

“I am having a great time! Cas is great company…” He then felt Sam’s hand on his thigh. Castiel’s eyes widened and he turned to look at Sam with a hard stare. Sam had a coy smirk across his lips and winked at him. Castiel then shook his head and grinned back. If his hand was any closer to his crotch he would know that it was already hardening.

_ Damn you Sam… _

Castiel was feeling hot and flustered again, squeezing his eyes temporarily to try and will away his arousal. He thought of other things to help calm him down. He figured if he kept everyone talking then he could feel less uncomfortable.

“It is a good night. Tracey will tell you that I’m not much of a club goer. I would normally be at home right now writing my novel.”

Sam then asked with excitement laced in his words, “Ooo, what’s your novel about?”

Castiel then smiled, “Well… it’s a fictional story. A political thriller type. There’s a lawyer who is the main character. He’s a hardball and involved in a heavily corrupted case that could either make or break his career. He’s also a womaniser and having constant affairs. It’s kind of like a John Grisham novel. He’s one of my favourite novelists.”

Sam nodded, “I like the sound of this already. I love John Grisham stories.”

Castiel squinted his eyes in surprise, “Really?”

“Oh yeah, I mean his stories are partly what inspired me to become a lawyer myself. Of course also watching lots of courtroom dramas,” Sam chuckled to himself.

Dean groaned, “Oh god I almost forgot about those! He never stopped talking about them. Still doesn’t sometimes. Law this, law that, never shuts up. Definitely didn’t get his brains from our dad. Must be our mom’s influence.”

Castiel looked toward Dean and asked, “What does your dad do?”

“Work wise? Oh well he’s an engineer. Just mechanical really. Owns a set of garages back at home.”

Castiel then coyly smirked, “Ah right home, yes where is that, exactly?”

Dean returned the playful smile, his eyes almost as amazing as Sam’s.  _ Wow, their parents must seriously have amazing genes,  _ Castiel thought to himself. It was hard for Cas to deny that Dean was also very attractive, but in a different way to Sam. Cas could see that Dean had faint freckles spread across his cheeks, his eyes also green but more like a crocodile, whereas Sam’s eyes were like the forest. Dean had his hair much shorter, quite neat and sharp, which Cas could imagine was more difficult to grab hold of, while he would have no problem with Sam’s luscious locks.

_ Oh my god am I comparing them? What the hell Cas? _

_ Oh but Sam’s hair… such beautiful hair. That would be easy to grab on to if he made me scream with pleasure… _

Cas then shook his head and tried to stop thinking about Sam like that.

“Kansas. Lebanon to be exact. Sammy and I haven’t been there for nearly a year. We keep meaning to go back and see the folks. They’re good people.”

Castiel nodded, trying to keep his attention with the conversation. He was intrigued by what Kansas was like. He had never been there before, let alone that far south. He had always kept himself in the northeast. Massachusetts, New York, New Jersey and Connecticut were all the places he had been to in America. Maybe it was because it was safer than other parts. It was likely because his parents were afraid of him going deep south due to the political and cultural tensions that were still going on. Cas wondered if they would have a fit about him going to Kansas let alone travelling the rest of the world.

“What’s Kansas like?”

Dean was going to answer, but he saw Sam wanting to, and gestured for him to do so.

“Well it depends. You have cities like Wichita, whereas Lebanon is rural with lots of open roads. It is very beautiful. Lots of vast fields and greenery. We generally went to Kansas City a lot to watch the Chiefs play football. A tradition we hold with dad.”

Dean then added, "Yeah a tradition that Sam didn't enjoy as much as dad and I did. Sam was often reading whilst sitting in the stadium."

Sam chuckled and rolled his eyes, those forest eyes sparkling in the neon light, retorted to Dean, "Yeah well that's because we watched them play every week and believe it or not, I did want to have other hobbies like anyone else would."

Castiel and Tracey giggled, giving one another a quick glance as they recognised typical sibling behaviour, almost like they were. Castiel shrugged and lifted his eyebrows at Tracey, smiling at her. She then spoke up. 

"Gosh Cassie, I haven't seen that smile on you much lately… it's nice, you know?" Tracey winked at him. 

Castiel frowned and glared at Tracey, knowing what she was trying to do. 

He then heard a scoff from the left of him, averting his gaze to the tall man beside him. Sam was grinning at him and said in a sassy manner, " _ Cassie _ , huh? That's adorable…" 

"Just like Sammy, then?" 

Dean then snickered, trying to disguise it as a cough, a smirk appearing on his lips. 

"Yeah, Sammy! The best nickname there is. Shows that he's still that little boy I remember so well…" 

Sam rolled his eyes while making a childish face, "Yeah well it's better than Samuel I suppose." 

Tracey nodded, "I have to agree. Samuel is a bit formal isn't it? Sam is classic."

Castiel watched them all before him laughing and goofing off, the four of them still pretty drunk. He was pleased that the night was turning out to be better than he ever could have imagined. He figured that if he hadn't met Sam, he might have already been heading home with Tracey walking together in the cold and singing terribly outloud to the streets of New York. But now, he expected anything that could happen. The night was still young. He would be happy to go anywhere else so long as it was with Sam.

But before he and Sam would have more alone time, he figured that Tracey would try and wear Sam and Dean's ears out, talking a lot about various different things. Usually it was about philosophy, art, fashion or like life in general. How she might go about her day or the nuisance that was people. She could talk for hours if others would let her. Eventually people she met had to be polite and say they needed to go, they needed to sleep or had other things to attend to. Tracey understood though. She knew it was a habit that she probably wouldn't grow out of. Castiel thought it was strangely endearing.

As he watched her talk and sat quietly observing Sam and Dean's reactions, he happened to notice that although Tracey was the one talking, Sam often kept glancing his way. Castiel wondered if it was a habit that Sam could no longer stop. He wasn't sure what Sam found so fascinating about him, but he figured that Sam probably equally was uncertain as to why Cas liked him so much.

_ I guess he does not realise it might have something to do with how breathtakingly beautiful he is, how charming and sweet he behaves, or that he's a good listener, witty, funny, vastly intelligent, pretty much everything I have been fucking looking for…  _

Castiel started to imagine Sam shirtless, unable to escape from these thoughts running through his mind. He could see Sam undress in front of him, picturing an amazing torso, broad shoulders and smooth skin. He began to feel himself start to sweat. These thoughts were beginning to get out of hand.

But all Cas did was find himself staring at Sam, watching him smile, blink, ruffle his hair, every little nuance about him that he was so mesmerised by. It was like nothing else mattered in that moment. Sam's lips especially were driving him nuts. The way they were curved perfectly, so pink and so eye catching. He wanted him so badly and was getting restless from not being able to do anything about it.

He then heard a faint noise, realising that Tracey was calling his name and as he stopped daydreaming about Sam, he could see Sam smirking at him, Dean sniggering and Tracey raising her eyebrows at him. 

"Got a lot on your mind there my dear?" Tracey asked suspiciously. 

Castiel then paid attention to his best friend by nodding while feeling his cheeks growing hot.

"Yes I guess I do. It's quite hot in here isn't it?" 

"You okay babe?" 

"Yeah, I just. I don't know. Does anyone else feel like heading somewhere else?" 

Tracey looked taken aback slightly and tilted her head, "Where did you have in mind babe?" 

He was feeling claustrophobic again. Perhaps it was being in a crowded place for so long that it was starting to affect him. Or maybe it's because he couldn't hold off his desire for Sam and must leave before he did anything stupid. He wasn't sure if he was ready to do anything promiscuous in a public place. At least if he cooled off somewhere else then he could put his racy thoughts to rest for a little while.

He started to get up from the booth, scrunching a part of his shirt into his fingers as a way to loosen his body from it, rubbing a bead of sweat from his forehead. He really didn’t know how much longer he could go on like this. He had to admit to himself whether he liked it or not that the temptation of Sam was getting more and more difficult to ignore.

Tracey suddenly leaned over the table and grabbed Cas' arm, her expression soon becoming concerned. She whispered to him  _ you okay? _ as to which Cas nodded and gave her a reassuring smile. She took her arm off of him and he noticed her look at Dean, both his and Sam's confused expressions. 

Sam then stood up and put his hand out and Cas felt it touch his shoulder, which Cas closed his eyes to. He hummed quietly to the feeling and then realised what he was doing, abruptly opening his eyes back up and switching round to face all of them. 

"So? Anyone had somewhere else in mind?" 

Dean shrugged, looking over at Tracey. 

"I don't know man, maybe a bar? Perhaps it'll be quieter. Or maybe, maybe Tracey and I stay here?" 

Tracey smiled and looked back up at him, nodding and waving her hand as a way to usher him away.

Castiel then squinted his eyes, wondering if this was another ploy of Tracey’s. But it suddenly struck him that maybe Dean knew that he wanted some more time with just Sam. Perhaps Cas was really that obvious.

"Ok Cas, I understand. You and Sam, you go wherever you wanna go. I'll see you back at home tomorrow. But ring me if you need to yeah?" 

Castiel gulped, looking over at Sam who looked a little surprised himself. He then turned back to Tracey and leaned into the table, giving her a hard stare.

"Ok Tracey I see what you and Dean are doing here and I'll go along with it. But the same goes for you. Call me if you need to."

Dean then quipped, "Don't worry. I'll whip my own butt if I were to hurt Tracey in any way or let anything bad happen to her. I'll keep her safe."

"I believe him Cas. And as you know I'm a grown woman. Please. Have fun with Sammy…" Tracey winked at him again. Dean then put his arm around Tracey.

Castiel then stopped squinting his eyes and stepped away from the meddlesome pair. He shook his head but loosened the frown from his eyes and turned to Sam. The expression on Sam’s face was definitely painted with curiosity.

"Shall we go somewhere?" 

Sam chuckled, "where are we heading?" 

"I know just the place."


	8. Chemistry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam is amazed by Castiel's candor. He wants to get to know him better even though he feels like a total head over the heels fool.
> 
> *Donna is now introduced to the story.

**Chemistry**

Sam was itching to leave the club and be taken wherever Cas had planned. He figured not knowing where he was going was part of the fun. He felt his body endure a wave of different emotions. He still hoped he could refrain from scaring off Cas unlike before. But when Cas had said that he never wanted him to leave, it made him want to jump with joy.

As Castiel grabbed his hand, he looked at him with a massive grin, those sparkling blue eyes making him shiver. His eyes were so enchanting, making him want Cas so desperately, needing to feel every inch of him, to ravish him and cradle him. Sam imagined it all very vividly and was struggling to switch the thoughts of Castiel’s body off. He bit his lip and cursed to himself, hoping that he could try and ignore these thoughts for the time being.

So as he tried to suppress his lustrous thoughts of Cas he was led out of the club with a huge smile across his face. He couldn't believe his luck. Never did he in his wildest dreams ever think he could meet someone as fascinating as Castiel. He thought he had met all the best people. His friends from Stanford were pretty cool, a couple of his previous lovers had been great, but by far Castiel had become the best person to have met not only appearance wise, but personality wise too. Sam reckoned he saw so much more in him than Cas ever saw himself and wished to change that. Perhaps he could be the one to help him feel more confident.

While practically running out together into the dimly lit streets, Sam momentarily stopped him to gently wrap his coat around Cas, his blue eyes watching him with gratitude of the temporary warmth as they both felt the edge of bitter cold reach their bodies. He brought himself close to Cas and stole a gentle kiss from his lips while stroking his cheeks, staring longingly into the man’s eyes.

He then held Castiel's face in his hands, leaving a soft peck on his cheek and on his neck like he had done before, successfully making a moan escape from Cas’ lips. Sam smirked at this and proceeded to leave a trail of kisses as he felt his lover roll his head back, relaxing into the feel of Sam's mouth. He couldn't help but enjoy teasing Cas. He was hopeful that he would get the opportunity to make Castiel feel so good that would persuade him to keep Sam around indefinitely.

Sam watched his new found lover intently as he opened his eyes gently, his mouth parted while looking hazy. Sam chuckled at this as Castiel gradually recomposed himself. Castiel then had those eyes again, eyes that made Sam melt and forget everything else existed. They gazed at one another for a little while, playing with each other's hands, almost wrestling with them while grinning ear to ear.

They began to walk again straight ahead of them, Sam beginning to wonder if they were walking in the right direction. Castiel hadn't said anything to indicate otherwise, so he figured they must have been. But as he could be cautious sometimes about things like this he had the need to ask. 

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?" 

Castiel shook his head, "No point. We're nearly there anyway. Everything in this area is only a few blocks away from one another and my apartment... which is also just ten blocks away." Sam raised his eyebrows in disbelief, still getting used to the city experience.

"Do you live with Tracey?" 

Castiel retorted with a laugh, "Why? Is it obvious?"

"Well. I mean, you went to the club together. If I hadn't suspected that you were probably into men then I would have thought you were a couple."

"A lot of people seem to think that. I don't know why. I think we're more like brother and sister, but I suppose she is attractive. She does have that sparkle about her. Your brother is doomed."

"Really? I don't know about that. Dean never falls for women. He usually goes from one to another. He has fun and then leaves. Might seem dickish but he never pretends that it's anything else."

"Funnily enough Tracey is usually the same. I mean she doesn't do it often, but she hasn't had a proper boyfriend for years. Yet, the way she was looking at Dean tonight indicated otherwise. I think she might be… I don't know…" 

"...falling for him?" Sam finished his sentence figuring that's probably what he meant. It was strange for those words to come off his tongue. He wondered if their situation was any different. So far with Cas there had been no red flags, no indications that this man was untrustworthy. Perhaps that falling in love at first sight thing was really beginning to ring some truth to it. 

_ But I've done this before haven't I? Thought it was love and fooled myself so many times. How can this be any different? So many words can be said, but it's the actions that are important. This time could be different. I may have been in love once before, but this could really be it. This could be the whole soulmate thing… _

_...which is freaking scary.  _

_ But surely it's worth it? Why would I be here with him right now if it wasn't?  _

Castiel nodded and looked at him with intensity, those blue eyes appearing to have more behind them than what words could say. Sam found it to be strange for Castiel to lack such confidence when he knew that he didn't have anything to be shy about. He wondered if maybe that was the guy’s nature. A humble person with naturally oozing confidence who has even managed to fool Tracey into thinking he had poor social skills. Sam started to recognise that maybe he's just not that interested in socializing.

Castiel then spoke up and asked Sam, "do you believe in all that? The soulmates and falling in love at first sight kind of stuff…" 

He noticed that Cas looked away from him when he asked that, almost mumbling half of it. Truthfully Sam had thought about it a lot. He did once think that it wasn’t really a thing and only love existed. But now all he could do was keep coming back to it. He wondered if Cas was thinking the same.

He scratched his head and shrugged, half smiling and suddenly feeling awkward just like Castiel had been. Maybe this whole love thing was scarier than he realised when he could be looking at it right in that very moment. His rationale was screaming at him that this was all too soon despite failing to ignore his feelings.

"I don't know. It could be. I think it would be amazing if it were. I guess it's something that I've wanted to be true, you know? I'm a hopeless romantic so I'm easy to be fooled."

Sam had tensed up a little. Maybe he was afraid to displease Cas in case he made the wrong move again.

"Oh yes, I can definitely see you're a romantic. Soulmates do sound nice, don't they? It's a good belief…"

Sam frowned a little. He sounded so much smarter than him. He was bound to be able to say such wonderful words when he was a writer. Sam spoke with actions, whereas it seems Castiel spoke with words and body language. He was afraid that what he might say next could be stupid. Perhaps he had to learn how to use his words better if he was going to become a lawyer.

"Damn, you even sound like a writer. The words just roll right off your tongue don't they?" 

Castiel snorted. He considered Sam's words and sort of nodded, half agreeing with him. His modesty was evident again. Castiel winked at him and then abruptly stopped his pace. Sam was then confused. 

"Are we stopping?" 

Castiel then gestured with his hand to the door that was right beside them. Sam then looked directly at the building and saw its sign with neon writing, presumably the name of the place: “Marvelous”, appeared to be a typical diner with its booths and fifties style decor. 

He had almost forgotten that Cas actually had a destination in mind, the walk and their conversation having drawn him away for a while. And of course the scent of Castiel's neck was mesmerising in itself. He had noticed that the smell that was lingering in the air was Castiel's cologne. He felt it tingle his lips. It was an amazing smell that he wanted to engulf himself in, almost as much as he wanted to take Castiel's body. 

But that had to wait as the diner that Cas had brought them to was still awaiting inside. Sam smiled at the thought of them sharing pancakes and milkshakes like couples do in the movies.

_ Ugh Sam, could you be more corny for christ sake?  _

Sam thanked Cas for opening the door. As he waltzed into the cafe he got a strong whiff of coffee and bacon, the scent making him hungry and thirsty. He figured that he should probably eat, having forgotten he had been drinking on a partially empty stomach, as must have Cas.

They then heard a woman’s voice, turning to recognise where she was standing. Behind the counter appeared to be a waitress of the diner. She looked tired but relatively friendly.

“Hello, welcome to Marvelous… sit wherever you like.”

Sam nodded and smiled awkwardly, beginning to recognise that this was the typical first date setting. 

_ Damn, I haven’t had a proper date in quite a while. _

In recent months, every one of his encounters had resulted in having sex afterwards, but this was the first time where he almost hoped he didn’t. At least if it did then he wouldn’t be walking out of the door the next morning. He refused to accept that as an option. It was a force of habit that he didn’t think was good enough for someone like Cas. He was soon realising that he perhaps never wanted anyone like that again let alone a relationship with someone unless it was Castiel.

_ Does this mean I am willing to go the distance for him when I’m only twenty two? _

_ Nobody finds this at such a young age… _

_ Or do they? _

Sam considered that this could actually be something that hardly anyone found at any age let alone when you’re young. This kind of connection was rare and he was only beginning to recognise this.

He followed Cas to where he chose their seats. It felt a little odd to just submit to Castiel in the little ways that he was. There was something about the blue eyed man that was almost domineering, a concept that was mind boggling but also immensely attractive about him. Whether he recognised it or not, Castiel had this natural ability to have others silently obey his requests without even needing words. Maybe those piercing blue eyes were hypnotic. Whatever it was, he couldn’t complain, especially as it was a serious turn on.

Starting to feel like it was getting eerily quiet between the two of them; Sam tried to think of something to talk about that wouldn’t involve sex or intimacy. He wanted to get to know Cas without agendas and ask him about his life, his morals and his aspirations. So far all he knew was that Cas wanted to be a novelist. He watched Castiel sit across from him noticing that he looked a lot more comfortable than he felt.

“So, Cas… is this a regular place you come to then?”

Just as he asked the question, the waitress that had greeted them walked over to their booth. She looked exhausted but had a pretty face, probably in her mid thirties, a curvy build and blonde hair tied up in a bun. Before she even asked she then clocked Castiel and smiled.

“Ah hi sugar, I didn’t realise it was you. I’ve had a long day. How are you doing?”

Castiel politely smiled, “Hi Donna, I’m alright thanks. Hope they’re not making you work too hard!”

“Oh well you know, it’s the usual. I had all sorts come in earlier. I even had to get Marv to throw out a couple of dickheads causing a stir in front of our regulars. Kept insisting that the food was ruined and demanding refunds and whatnot. But ah well, it’s quiet now thank god. Anyway, what are you doing here at this hour? I normally don’t see you out and about…”

“Tracey dragged me out to a nightclub. You know the one round the corner?”

Donna nodded and scoffed, “You can never say no to that friend of yours, can you? How’s the novel coming along?”

  
Sam raised his eyebrows, amazed by how well acquainted he was with this woman. It made it clear that Castiel must come to this diner at least a few times a week if not everyday. He continued to watch them have their conversation when Castiel then gestured to him.

“Oh, and Donna, this is Sam. He’s um, a friend…”

Donna then turned to him and gave a friendly smile, “Hello Sam. Are you a new friend? I’m sorry to have taken attention from Castiel here but I’m always happy to talk to this regular. I’m also just a nosey lady, but I don’t bite…”

He chuckled in response and smiled, “Oh that’s alright Donna. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Oh please, the pleasure is all mine. It’s nice to see Cas here with another human being that isn’t Tracey! I mean don’t get me wrong that girl is a joy with a good heart and all, but she’s also all kinds of chaotic. Sorry if that seems too intrusive, but you... well aren’t you a treat to look at!”

Sam bashfully smiled, thanking her and biting his lip.

“So, a friend though huh? I hope you’re a nice one this time. Castiel needs someone like you.”

Sam shrugged, “Well, I don’t know. I don’t want to hurt Cas if that’s what you mean.”

“Oh yes that’s good! The other two were disasters, of which I’m sure he’s told you about… but anyway, you two must be hungry! What can I get you boys?”

Castiel spoke up, having remained quiet once Donna brought her attention to himself. Sam was not going to let him get away with being hoodwinked into a conversation like that. He definitely wanted to know about the so-called two ‘disasters’ that Donna had mentioned.

“I’ll have the usual please Donna, and make it good…” Castiel winked at her.

Donna chuckled, “When is it not baby?” He laughed with her and she took his menu from him.

As Donna turned to him, he told her that he would have what Castiel was having. Just as he said that, he saw her make a face at Castiel. He frowned and squinted his eyes watching their exchange but figured it was probably nothing. Or at least he hoped so. She then walked away and went behind the counter to prepare their orders.

Castiel looked at him all smug. Sam shook his head and glared at him. He made him look like a complete fool. He already felt stupid enough as it is trying to impress Cas and to get to know him better, but he definitely was making it difficult for him. Cas had managed to make him feel like a teenage girl flirting with the quarterback again.

“You sly bastard! You knew what you just did then…”

Castiel sniggered at him and retorted, “Well you see this is what happens when the gorgeous greek god gets pegged down a notch or two…”

Sam nodded, “Yeah okay fair enough you win this round, but don’t expect to get off easy…” he smirked at Cas.

“Oh don’t worry, I’ll be hanging off the edge of my seat!” Castiel grinned. Sam shook his head and chuckled. He felt Cas staring at him. He guessed it was his turn to be admired as opposed to being the admirer. 

It was still overwhelming for him to be considered so attractive when he never remembered being seen like that. Sure, he had experienced the odd person in recent years find him hot or kinda cute, but he definitely hadn’t been referred to as a _ greek god _ . 

He remembered in high school he was late to puberty and a lot of the girls and boys thought he was more nerdy than anything. His muscles failed to grow until he was sixteen and he wasn’t a sporty guy. He wondered if Cas would have been attracted to Sam back then.

He then began to reminisce about his times back in Kansas and how different the big cities had been to the rural areas of his hometown. New York City was nothing like he expected. He was still getting used to how everything was close by and how many tall buildings there were. He liked it so far, even though he did feel a little homesick. But he knew he couldn’t stay in Kansas forever.

Him and Dean were unlike their parents who were comfortable. They were both travellers. Or maybe they just wanted to get away from Mary and John once they knew how suffocating they could be. Especially his mom. Mary was the loveliest woman in the world, beautiful and charismatic. But she was also really clingy. Whereas his dad wanted Dean to join him in the business of mechanics. Dean hadn’t decided what he was doing yet. John was a strong character, good at advice and helpful. But also his protective nature could be hard to deal with. Both him and Dean knew they needed to get away sooner rather than later. It had taken their folks a while to get used to Sam wanting to go to college.

College was miles away though. He didn’t know what he was thinking, deciding to take a year out. He guessed he needed a break and could go back to his academics in the fall. He wanted to spend his summer in New York with his brother, but now he was starting to think he wanted to spend his whole time with Cas.

Sam looked outside of the window deep in thought. He couldn’t get used to where he was right now and started to wonder if he might be dreaming all of this. New York City felt like a fantasy. But really, it was Castiel that he was struggling to believe. Maybe he was experiencing an extreme wet dream, imagining this beautiful blue eyed man and when he woke up, he would have to deal with the arousal in his boxers awkwardly and promptly.

Suddenly he was taken away from his thoughts to see Castiel’s curious eyes still gazing at him, almost like he was a puzzle piece that Cas was trying to figure out. A small grin appeared on the guy’s lips.

“So, New York must be different for you, huh?”

Sam nodded and smiled back, “Yeah. It’s certainly unlike California with its lack of heat and lack of constant sunshine. Kansas can get pretty hot too.”

“What made you decide to come here then?”

“I guess because Dean was here for one, but also because I was… feeling kinda skeptical about California. I’m not sure if I want to go back there. I would be in my first semester of senior year right now.”

“Do you want to finish college?”

“Yeah of course. I just feel like staying here for a while. Or maybe travel elsewhere. I’m not one for being able to stay in one place.”

Castiel chuckled in disbelief, “Wow, you sound like me! That we definitely have in common.”

He grinned and became more curious, “Where do you want to travel then?”

Castiel had a wondrous look upon his face, “Oh you know… exotic places, European countries, most places really. I even like the sound of Kansas when you described it earlier.”

He scoffed, “Hmmm. Well, maybe I could show you around there.”

“Perhaps we could be travelling buddies. Go everywhere we wanna go!”

“Yes, that would be amazing…”

Castiel’s eyes widened, “Whoa, I was kidding…”

Sam bit his lip and gave Cas a hard look, “I wasn’t.”

Castiel looked at him in seriousness, almost frowning but also surprised by his certainty. It was Sam’s turn to feel smug.

But just as it seemed Castiel was trying to think of something else to say, their orders had arrived. Sam looked up at Donna and frowned, noticing the tray appeared to only have two coffees sitting on top. She placed the cups on their table carefully.

“Well here you go boys,” a smile was hinted across her face.

Before she walked away Sam began to question in confusion.

“Um, sorry Donna but is there more coming?”

Donna was grinning and Sam looked over at Cas who also had a smirk reappearing.

“No dear, this is Cas’ usual… just a cup of average joe! Why, were you hoping for something else?”

He sighed and quipped with a sassy tone in his voice, “Ah I see. So, I have been played by you two like a fiddle. That’s fantastic…”

Castiel and Donna started snickering and he realised that this was a small joke played on him. He shook his head trying not to smile nor feel like he had been beaten.

“Okay I get it. I’m a perfect target!” He put his hands up.

“Oh well not necessarily honey. A pretty target though for sure. Did you want something with that coffee then?” Castiel was still laughing to himself.

Sam glared at Cas as to which he saw him try to refrain from continuing to giggle like a child. 

“Sure. If you could get me a short stack with bacon and sausage, that would be much appreciated.”

Donna smiled, “Coming right up. And Cas? Definitely not hungry?”

Castiel cleared his throat and tried to wipe away his smirk, “Hmmm actually, I will have the same. Except without sausage please.”

Donna nodded and walked away to put in their order of food.

Sam continued to glare at Castiel who gave him a sarky smile. 

“Castiel, I swear…”

“What?”

“You gotta stop being so damn attractive like that.”

_ This guy is going to be the death of me. _

**Author's Note:**

> Update 26/12/20:
> 
> Hi everyone!
> 
> Hope my readers are well and had a nice Christmas/holiday.
> 
> As of recent, I have been considering what might need to be improved with this story, and it seems that there are some parts that need to be rectified.
> 
> I'm currently in the process of writing chapter 6, but before I publish it, I can't help but wonder if there are any serious issues that maybe you guys might have with this story? I've been told by a couple of peeps that there are ways in which this story needs to change, such as it needs more dialogue and less exposition, but is there anything else? I've been struggling a little with improving what has already been published as I was pleased with it at the time, but now knowing that my writing might not be as good as I thought, I'm hoping that I'm not just deluding myself and that those who are reading this are enjoying it.
> 
> Please let me know if you think there are ways that this story could be better and I'll take any of your thoughts into account. I do have to admit that I am unsure of how this story will continue, especially as I intend to make it interesting as possible, but yet I haven't quite figured out how to do so.
> 
> Additionally, it is important to me that I have a decent writing ability, so it is partially to do with my self-esteem issues.
> 
> I hope you can understand where I'm coming from and I should have a new chapter up soon, but also be aware that the previous chapters might be altered in the next few days, and they could either be heavily or slightly different. This shouldn't change the main plotline though.
> 
> Anyway, thank you for being a reader, giving me kudos and for leaving all of your amazing comments as I do appreciate them a ton!! The more the merrier and I love you all my fellow Sastiel shippers <3
> 
> Cheers,  
> Luna


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